Look at me! I do nothing...and now I'm famous...Part Deux

As you all know by now I love...and watch....a lot of crappy reality TV.

Teen Mom? Check.

16 and Pregnant? Check.

Bethanny's Getting Married? Check.

The list goes on....and on.....and on.

I never got the Jersey Shore.

I tried to watch it.

But it was too much of a train wreck, even for me.

So someone please explain to me how "the Situation" is going to earn 5 million dollars this year.

Seriously?

For what?

Being a trashy guido with a 6 pack and flaunting it on MTV?

Wow.

If that's all it takes these days to make 5 million bucks, I better start working on my abs!

I'm 3 weeks old today!

(Age Blocks from BB Blocks.com)

Hi everyone! Now that I'm 3 weeks old, mommy thought it was about time I wrote my own blog post. I think she's just too tired to write it herself....which is probably my fault for being such a grumpy gus lately...so I thought I'd help her out.

I had a busy week. Grandma came in town for a few days. We all went shopping and out to lunch. I love cruising around town in my stroller and always get lots of attention when we're out. I'm a true ladies man already! But really who can blame them....I am pretty adorable! Mommy even got to go out one afternoon for a few hours and get her toes done and run a few errands without me. I think she really liked the break and I love hanging out with grandma. In fact Thursday night mom and dad went out for a date and then grandma slept over and took the graveyard shift. Mommy got like 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I'd never seen her look so happy! She told me it had been months since she'd slept that long.....I told her it will probably be months before she does again. This weekend daddy went home to Ohio for his 10 year high school reunion. (Wow, dad's old!) Me and mom weren't quite ready for the trip so we stayed home alone from Friday afternoon until tonight. Mommy told me she must have been having a crazy moment before I was born to think it was a good idea to send daddy away for a whole weekend when I was this little, but I think we did ok. Plus Auntie Nikki came into town on Saturday and Sunday and we had so much fun! I was bummed she didn't bring my future wife Harper along too, but 2 babies plus 2 crazy dogs probably would have been too much! We went to the mall for lunch and shopping and Sunday we got bagels and coffee at Panera. Mom said it was just like old times hanging out and she was so glad to have the extra hands...being a single mom is tough work! Especially since I've decided I don't want to sleep for more than an hour or so at night now and I never like to be put down. Ever. I like to be held and snuggled all the time. Mommy said she wants to marry the person who invented the Moby wrap, otherwise she'd never eat or go to the bathroom.
That pretty much wraps up my third week of life. Mommy can't believe how big I am already, even though I still fit into all my newborn clothes, I fill them out pretty well now so it's only a matter of time before she has to put them away. She also told me that she's half way through her maternity leave and in 3 short weeks has to go back to work. That makes us both sad so we try not to think about it just yet. Anyways, time to go take a nap....see you all again soon! ~Jamie

Let's get physical...physical

So I'm channeling my inner Olivia Newton John in an effort to lose this baby weight....and the extra pounds I put on after the wedding..... and with the move to KC.

When it's all said and done I'd like to lose about 50 pounds.

Whew. That sounds like a lot.

Here's where we stand right now.......

38 weeks pregnant.

2 weeks post partum

Here I am at my goal. A few weeks before my wedding in Dec 2008. Sad thing is I thought I was fat then. Haha. I was crazy.

I've already lost 25 pounds since giving birth 2 weeks ago....12 more to go to be at my pre-pregnancy weight. You'd think I'd be feeling pretty good about myself, but I'm still sporting maternity clothes with a ways to go before zippers and buttons are going to happen. I just feel gross and flabby since all the weight is in my stomach. Even through all my ups and downs with my weight I've always manged to have a flat tummy, so this is a foreign concept to me and I don't like it! Let's not even talk about the stretch marks. I have hopes that the next 12 pounds should be gone by the time I return to work at 6 weeks since I barely have time to eat anymore and I've ditched the ice cream and gummy worm addiction from my pregnancy. Since I can't work out until I get the a-ok from my OB, eating right is the first step. So far so good...with the exception of a few treats here and there....you didn't expect me to go cold turkey did you?! Plus I am still pumping, so I like to think I'm burning all those extra calories in my vein attempt to produce even a little breast milk.

Once I get the green light I'm actually looking forward to working out. That may be a first for me....I detest, LOATHE working out. Now that we're in the house, I don't have access to a gym and paying for a membership is out of our budget right now. I'd like to try the couch to 5K plan I've heard so much about....and I think after sitting in it's original packaging for a year and half, it's finally time to break out my 30 day shred DVD. Jillian Michaels scares me and I'm already slightly afraid of how out of shape I am. I may not survive her wrath! I'm also considering Jazzercise. I know right? The 80s called and they want their workout back....but I know several people who have really enjoyed it and I think I will get more out of it than mindless running on a treadmill or elliptical machine. I need to keep things interesting if I'm going to keep it up.

Anyone have any good, inexpensive workouts to try? Thoughts on the Wii Fit? I'm open to anything!

2 weeks and counting

Hard to believe yesterday was two weeks already!

On one hand it's flown by....on the other it seems like he's been here forever!

Yesterday was our first whole day together...just me and Jamie.

With the hubs back at work and my mom back at home it was just the two of us.

Honestly I didn't even realize this until late last night, so it must not have stressed me out too much!

We're slowly settling into a routine. As much routine as you can have with a newborn. His days and nights are slowly adjusting which makes for one happy mama. Usually takes his last bottle around 11, asleep by 12. Up at 3ish to eat and again around 5 or 6....then we sleep till after 9, it's glorious. We're up just in time to catch the last part of Regis and Kelly and the Price is Right. (I miss you Bob Barker! Drew Carey is kind of a tool) He's a bit more alert during the day now, but there really isn't much to entertain him at this point. Whoever put the 0-3 month age range on all those Baby Einstein toys must be on crack. Either that or they've never been around a newborn. Hopefully he gets more into them soon cause mama's singing isn't very good, I only remember like 4 songs from childhood and I think he pretends to sleep so I will stop. Hey.... I never claimed to be the next American Idol. He likes his bouncy seat and swing and much to my dismay seems to enjoy the weird nature music they play. Makes me feel like I'm in one of those hippie wholistic salons or a yoga studio....but if he likes it, I'll learn to deal. I also recently discovered he LOVES the moby wrap. Now I'm not gonna lie, when I have the wrap on it looks crazy ridiculous, but if it stops the blood curdling screams I'm not too concerned about making a fashion statement. Most of my clothes are covered in spit up and drool anyways, so the moby is probably an improvement!
He surpassed his birth weight last Friday weighing in at a whopping 7 pounds 12 ounces. He had dropped all the way down to 7.3 when we left the hospital so it's nice to see he's packing the pounds back on. His face has filled out quite a bit and he's already rocking the double chin. Still barely fills out his 0-3 mos clothes...again with the crazy people who come up with these age ranges! I put a pair of shorts on him, they looked like pants and were busting some serious sag. Not cool. We hit up the mall this weekend and scored some sweet deals on all the summer clearance racks. To all the moms out there I have two words for you...Crazy 8. Best kids store ever. Plus it's nice to have some things that actually fit, even if it's only for a few weeks. Still fitting into newborn disposable diapers with room to grow, but now that his umbilical stump is finally gone (it hung on by a thread for days, totally grossing out my husband) we are going full time with cloth and loving it. No more leaks, yay! Breastfeeding is no more, but I am still pumping so he gets some with almost every bottle. After working with 2 different lactation consultants they're baffled at why my supply is so low. Apparently size really doesn't matter and my girls are purely for looks. I've tried it all, oatmeal, fenugreek, beer, mother's tea....still nothing. I figure as long as he's happy and fed....then I'm happy too. No need to be upset over something out of my control.
I know. I know. All this baby talk is probably boring you all. I'm trying my best not to turn into a mommy blog, but these days, a trip to the mail box is about as exciting as my life gets! At least I can bribe you to read all the way through with pictures! :) I promise I have a few non-Jamie post in the works! Happy Tuesday!

The one where I pushed out a watermelon....

"On the night you were born,
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you

and the night wind whispered,

'Life will never be the same.'"

~Nancy Tillman

At my last doctor's appt on Wednesday 8/4/10....2 days before my due date my lady bits were still locked up tight. I kept hoping a miracle would happen and Jamie would come all on his own before our scheduled eviction that Monday, but the look on my doctor's face led me to believe this would probably not be the case. I finished out work that week....hearing lots of "That baby isn't here YET?!" and just nodding and smiling, "No, not yet." All the while thinking, I'm still here you freaking idiots...what do you think?!

My due date came and went. Hubby and I had a date night instead of having a baby. Saturday came and went. My in laws arrived from Ohio. My mother in law officially told the baby it was all right to come now. Still nothing. Sunday comes. Ok Jamie. This is your last chance. Nothin' I spent most of that day a bit of an emotional wreck. I don't like drugs. They make me feel funny and out of control. I'd heard nothing but horror stories from women about pitocin...the evil induction drug. My mom came that evening. Time was quickly ticking away and still no signs of labor. I took a shower and attempted to calm my growing nerves. Finally 8:30pm rolled around and it was time to leave. We got to the hospital just about 9pm. This wasn't how I was supposed to have a baby. I wasn't even in labor. It felt kinda backwards. But alas, I was there...it was go time.

The nurse got me all checked in, IV in place. She did an exam....apparently I was an anomaly. Lucky me. The baby was LOW but my cervix was still high and very much closed. With the baby's head in the way it made the exams very difficult and VERY uncomfortable. At one point I asked my husband if she lost her whole arm in there trying to see if I was dilated. They got the cervadil placed...aka the pre-induction cocktail...and left me to cook for 2 hours. I started feeling some contractions, nothing major, but at least something was going on. Around midnight the nurse said I could have my last meal....I wasn't hungry so I ate some orange sherbet and called it a day. She gave me some sleeping pills and said they would be back at 5:00am to get everything ready for the pitocin to start around 6. Needless to say, even with the pills, I didn't sleep much. Every hour the machine would take my blood pressure...maybe the worst part of my labor I kid you not...I swear my fingers turned blue every time that damn thing went on. Like a boa constrictor on my arm. It would beep first, like warning you of what was to come. Even when the cuff wasn't on, I would jump at the sound of the beep. It truly was torture.

The morning finally comes. The nurse takes out the cervadil (it's like a tampon for lack of other comparisons) and checks me again. 1 cm. Hmph. Well I suppose it's 1 more than I was when I came in. She starts the pitocin and is off for the day. Enter my sister in law Jade. For those that didn't know...Jade is a labor and delivery nurse and coincidentally is scheduled to work both Monday and Tuesday. She would have been there regardless, but I felt better knowing she didn't have to come in on her day off. And for those who are wondering, it was not weird at all to have my sister in law so up close and personal with my lady parts. At this point, you don't really care who sees you. Modesty is pretty much checked at the door. Having her there the whole day was actually very comforting and almost made it feel like I was delivering at home. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way!

So the pitocin gets going and we watch the contractions on the monitor. Jamie wasn't responding very well to some of them so they kept having me change positions. Eventually we discover that sitting on the big yoga ball is best, both for me and for him. So far so good. I'm able to breath though most of the contractions and it's not so bad. Around 10:30 my OB is making the rounds and checks, I'm now 1.5cm. Really? A half more...it's been several hours already! My doctor breaks my water. Gross. Kinda glad it didn't happen at home. I wasn't expecting quite so much...little man practically has an Olympic sized swimming pool in there! They discover there is meconium present...for the non-baby people, that basically means he's already had his first poop. Charming. It doesn't change much about the labor process, just means a respiratory therapist will have to be present at birth to make sure he didn't/doesn't suck any of it into his lungs.

Once my water had been broken things pretty much took off and my body finally got with the program. The contractions were STRONG and coming about 2 -3 minutes apart, lasting about 1 minute each....so basically I had 60 seconds to re-coop before the next one came. Every last one of them was in my back. I was doing so much breathing I thought I might hyperventilate, but it kept me focused. I was also able to stay on the yoga ball which was a godsend. My husband was amazing and helped me get through them. I surprisingly stayed pretty calm, there were no mom-zilla moments or "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" tantrums. I have to say I was rather impressed with how well I handled it all. The worst was when during my "breaks" the blood pressure cuff would go off, I literally had to breath through that too. Two hours after they broke my water I begged my sister in law to check. Surely I had dilated enough to get an epidural because I was wearing down fast and wasn't sure I would last much longer with the back labor. Thank god I was 3.5. My goal was to make it to at least 3 before getting the epi. I was there.

My new best friend aka the anesthesiologist came in and got the epidural placed. Shortly after I was in heaven. I watched the contractions on the monitor spike continually and felt nothing. Who cares if I couldn't move my toes and my legs felt like they weighed 1000 pounds...I was happy as a clam. Things moved pretty fast after that. The next time they checked me I was 5 cm. An hour and a half later I told my sister in law I was feeling a lot of pressure, kind of like I had to poop. She checked again and actually said, "Holy crap! You're ready. You're 10 cm!" Woah. I'm going to have a baby. By now it's about 4:00pm. They let me continue to stew, waiting for my doctor to arrive. At 4:50 the pushing began. Now it's kind of hard to push when you can't feel anything below the waist, but they kept reassuring me I was doing great and making progress. I was exhausted. Starving. And the pressure was pretty intense. I was so ready for it all to be over. Finally at 5:50 pm, after exactly 1 hour of pushing Jamie made his grand entrance.

They quickly wisked him away to make sure his lungs were clear. We quietly waited until finally we heard a loud cry....the most glorious sound to a new mother's ears. They got him all cleaned up and suctioned out and brought him over to me. I was still in disbelief that just moments ago this little guy was inside, and now here he is. Ten fingers. Ten toes. Just perfect.

For once I'm speechless....

I'm still here I swear!

Being a mom really is a full time job....

even my computer addiction has fallen to the way side!

Who can blame me when I have this sweet little guy to love all over!

Our first days home have been about as good as can be expected. Jamie seems to have his days and nights a bit confused, and to say nursing has been a challenge would be the understatement of the century. I don't really blame the little man's frustration though.... Let's just say I wouldn't want to go to the bar that wasn't serving me drinks either. Apparently my boobs missed the memo that now that baby is here they need to do something....I hear beer can boost milk production....now that's a solution I can get on board with!

And for old times sake, here's my "41 week" belly pic....not so bad for giving birth 4 days ago.

Happy Friday everyone!!

The juice was definitely worth the squeeze!!

It's official!

James David EyeCanSee is here!!

I won't lie I was in tears all day Sunday scared to death to go in after all the pitocin horror stories I've heard.....but after a successful induction he made is grand entrance on 8/9/10 at 5:50 pm! Everyone, including my OB, were quite pleased with how quickly progressed throughout the day.

His official stats were 7 pounds 10 ounces

20 inches long

Full head of light brown hair (which they say looks like it may turn curly, yay!!)

Bluish gray eyes.

And absolutely perfect.

Though I may be slightly bias.

Taking donations!

I saw this "mama" necklace on a blog awhile back and have been obsessed ever since.

Simple.

Classic.

Totally me.

However for the small one...with no bling....it costs $425!

Say what?!

Will this thing feed and change my baby too??

Maybe help out with a few 2AM wake up calls?

For that price it should!

Le sigh.

It doesn't stop me from wishing though.

Maybe I should start taking blog donations...

I mean, if each one of my faithful followers chipped in $2.00 it could be mine!

Do we have a deal??

Haha. Just kidding....

PS Has anyone noticed that even my trusty countdown tickers are taunting me over lack of baby?? As if I needed one more reminder I don't in fact have a 1 day old son....

Bump Day -- 40 Weeks -- The Final Edition!

The hubs made me laugh right as I snapped this picture...hence the blurry-ness. Oh well. You really don't want to see a full term pregnant woman in high definition. Believe me. But just for fun...and really my own remembrance I also took a bare (AH!) belly shot for the first and last time. Woah mama!

How far along? 40 weeks. Full term. Done. Finite. The bun is baked.

Weight gain/loss: Does it really matter at this point? But get this. When filling out all the hospital pre-registration forms it was brought to my attention that the mother's final birth weight goes on the birth certificate. Now I'm guessing (hoping) not the actual certificate itself, just in the eternal record books....but still. No body needs to know that!

Maternity Clothes? Some days I wonder if I'll ever fit into regular clothes again.

Sleep: No complaints there. Though my most comfortable position seems to be the baby's least favorite position cause every single time I settle in and get comfy he starts kicking, moving, squirming...pretty much anything he can to get me to roll over. What a stinker.

Stretch marks: Sadly yes. A few. But it's not too bad. I'm nervous for what may pop up AFTER delivery. Some women say they actually get worse. Lovely.

Best moment this week: Knowing I'm almost done!! And today is my last day at work!! You know the last time I had 6 weeks off with no work and no school?? I was 14.

Movement: It's really slowed down in the last day or two but he still manages to do a little kung fu action at night. I keep telling him there's way more room out here in the outside world, but apparently he enjoys the challenge.

Food cravings: Homemade mashed potatoes. I made enough to feed a small army and they were delicious!

Gender: Team Blue!

Labor Signs: Nada. My appointment on Wednesday confirmed I'd still made no progress. I did have 4 contractions this morning between 4:30 and 5:30 and got super excited. But that was it. So here I sit... at work....not in labor.

Belly Button in or out? In. But since he has actually dropped some this week it did manage to get a little flatter which I didn't think was possible.

What I Miss: Not being pregnant. It's been a great ride...but I'm ready to get off now.

What I'm looking forward to: Date night with the hubs tonight! Melting Pot here we come! YAY! It's really the only thing keeping my mind off the fact that I'm supposed to be having a baby today!

Weekly Wisdom: When someone asks you for the one millionth time that day how you're feeling or whether or not you've had that baby yet....resist the urge to punch them in the face.

Milestones: I've made it to the end. If that's not the quintessential milestone of this whole journey I don't know what is! Oh wait...maybe actually HAVING a baby!

Look at me! I do nothing...and now I'm famous!

When did the mere act of being on a reality tv show automatically make you famous?

All you did was live your life on camera?

Big deal.

But apparently now it means you get book deals, lavish weddings and baby showers, assistants, baby nurses and your very own TV show that I will shamelessly watch...and then blog about.

Enter Bethenny Frankle. Anyone watch her show? I do.

It's lame I know. But there was a marathon on one Sunday and now I'm hooked.

I don't even like the show. Or Bethenny. Ask my husband. I laugh and criticize through the entire episode about how ridiculous it all is....yet I still continue to watch it.

I'm what's wrong with America...and the reason these people are famous.

Oh well. It's a guilty pleasure.

My dislike for this woman started back in her Real Housewives days.

First of all....how can a single girl be a housewife?
I never understood that.

Then she gets her own show.

Bethenny Getting Married?
Ummm. What's with the "?" The entire show is about her wedding...no question about it. Were they hoping she wouldn't actually go through with it or something? I may or may not lose sleep over this improper use of punctuation.

She's pregnant.I get it. So am I. But why do I see her belly more than I see my own?
I mean for real. They make maternity tops so people don't have to see that. Buy one.

Her wedding dress.

Ok. I can't hate on this one. While it may not have been my first choice at 7 months pregnant...
I actually LOVE LOVE LOVE her dress. Like jealous and wish that style had been more popular when I got married cause I think it's so fabulous and I would have totally rocked it....without the baby bump.

She peed in an ice bucket on TV.

On her wedding day.

Need I say more?

She has TWO assistants AND a baby nurse.

The woman literally has 3 right hand gophers, yet with 5 weeks to her due date she still has nothing purchased for the baby? Not a crib. Nothing. Really? Cause when I go into labor the person I want buying my post partum undies is my 20 something MALE assistant. Someone who knows nothing about giving birth and in turn buys lacy thongs. Just what I want to wear after squeezing a human outta my hoo-ha. Thankfully though she hired that baby nurse, otherwise her baby may still be stuck in the car cause neither Bethany nor her husband can get the car seat out. Now I will admit, they can be a bit tricky...but there was an entire episode about the class she took that showed her how to do it?!

So it's been decided. I'm going on a Reality TV show.

So I can be famous for doing nothing too!

No one ever said I was practical

So I've never been a HUGE car person.

I like my car.
It gets me from point A to point B,

but I don't obsess over it.

I don't need to pimp my ride with fancy rims....sorry P. Diddy

or some crazy loud exhaust.....sorry hubs.

I don't wash and wax it religiously....sorry dad.

It's a car.

Then I met the new Chevy Camaro.

Hellooo gorgeous. How you doin'?

::::Insert Drool::::

One Sunday while being forced to watch stupid car shows with my husband

they did a whole story on this sweet automobile and I was hooked.

Lately I've noticed more of them on the road....one in particular....

this one.

I see it all the time.

Like one big giant green tease.

I actually get a little giddy when it goes by.

I know what you're all thinking....

but I'm pretty sure I could get a car seat in the back.

Too hot Tuesday

You'll have to excuse the interruption in our usual Tuesday programming.

There will be nothing Tasty about today.

My husband will be getting cereal for dinner...if he's lucky.

You see, yesterday was the hottest day of the year.

Today was the new hottest day of the year...

and from what our trusty weatherman says,

tomorrow will take the prize as new hottest day of the year.

Do you see what my car says?

Ugh.

And that's the real deal holyfield temp....
that doesn't even include the 110 degree heat index.

It's too hot too cook.

And my feet are so swollen they actually have muffin top from my socks.

Gross.

We won't even mention the fact that I'm pretty much carrying around a full size infant.

Hopefully I get good news at the doctor tomorrow!

It will have been 10 days since my last appointment, surely there's been SOME progress!