Friday Confessions

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I keep seeing fall outfit inspiration boards with white jeans.  I know the labor day rule is a thing of the past, but I can't do it.  Every time I see them paired with boots and my other personal favorite, the "indoor" useless scarf I get twitchy.

Last night I killed a half a pint of Ben and Jerry's by myself.  In the moment it was glorious.  At 3AM when I woke up with heartburn and indigestion I regretted that choice.  Perhaps I'll think twice before I do that again.  Probably not.

When pregnant with Jamie all I ever heard was how hard it was to shop for boys clothes.  Has anyone looked for boy stuff lately?  Sure it may be slightly less abundant in choices, but at least it's all pretty adorable.  I wandered into the girl section just to see what all the fuss was about and was lost in a sea of pink, tutus and glitter.  Yikes.  It was awful.  I'll stick to my side for now thank you very much.

Speaking of kids clothes.  I kinda sorta hate when parents dress their kids in the same outfits.  I don't care if they're 2 minutes apart or 2 years apart.  If it's everyday or for a family photos.  No body needs to where matching clothes.  Ever.

I don't like Justin Timberlake's new album.  There.  I said it.  The Suit and Tie song took months to grow on me and now I will listen to it, but all the other ones?  Yeah no.  They warrant an immediate station change.  Sorry JT.  I understand if this means we can't be friends now.

All summer long I kept seeing people post pictures of Summer Shandy.  That lemonade beer drink.  So I thought I would try it.  Gross.  It's what I imagine drinking lemon Lysol would taste like.

I have $30 of Old Navy Super Cash burning a hole in my pocket.  I don't need anything.  Jamie doesn't need anything.  But I certainly can't let it go to waste now can I?

I have a bad habit of telling my husband I don't care if he does xyz when really I do.  So when he chooses not to do it, you know, because I told him I didn't care, I probably can't get mad about can I. We all know that's not the case.  No wonder men think women are crazy.

So I know this week I wrote a post about never seeing my child and the awful mom guilt.  And all that's very true.  Well this morning I have an appointment to go to, so even on my day off I have to take Jamie to daycare for a few hours.  And I don't really feel bad about it.


Have anything to get off your chest?  Confess!
Happy Friday Everyone!

Friday Confessions

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I was supposed to weigh in this week to reach my "lifetime" status with WW.  Well week 6 of maintenance happened to fall the week after our vacation and let's just say I won't be within two pounds of my goal weight.  I'll pretty much be starving myself and avoiding my meeting until next week.  Damn you Jeni's ice cream. 

I've been saying for months that for Jamie's 3rd Birthday we're going to move him into his big boy room.  Well we're now less than 30 days away and the downstairs 4th bedroom is still a disaster zone which means I can't move the current guest room furniture down there which means there's no big boy room currently available. {Did you follow that?}  The fact that we don't need his current room {aka the nursery} anytime soon has me seriously lacking in the motivation department.  Maybe I'll shoot for Christmas instead.

Yesterday I only worked a half day, but since I got off right in the middle of daycare nap time I knew I couldn't pick Jamie up until later in the afternoon.  So I had lunch with my husband, went on a solo trip to Target and then filled my cup with adult beverages and went to the pool.  It was glorious.  And like the best day ever.

I've become obsessed with buying swimsuits.  I think I've bought five.  Maybe six.  I've lost count.  In my defense I only had two left from my fat days that still sorta fit.

I broke down and bought a pack over overnight pull ups for our trip so I didn't have to worry about diaper laundry while we were gone.  Once I got over the guilt (and sticker shock, holy freaking expensive!!) it was actually quite liberating.  If we're being honest here, now that we're down to just one a night it's been a bit of a laundry pain in the ass and if it were up to me I'd stick with pull ups from here on out.  My son however hates them and bitches that they're itchy and scratchy and cries for a diaper.  He then proceeds to take them off every.single.night.  Guess I shouldn't be surprised I've created a cloth snob.

We're still not officially on the baby train just yet, however there may have been a slip up on vacation.  Some new buckeye gear may not be the only souvenir we brought home from Ohio.

Forever ago I agreed to do a scrubs review/giveaway and then totally fell off the blogosphere.  They've been bugging me nonstop to write it, so I guess I better get on that.

We've been home for almost a week now and my house is still a mess and not everything is unpacked.  Perhaps a better use of my kid free afternoon would have been tackling that chore.  Then again.  Maybe not. 

It's been nearly three months since I've blogged and I'm starting with a confessions post.  It is what it is.  Hoping to be back with slightly more regularity soon!  In the mean time do you Instagram?  If not what are you waiting for???  Look for me there, I'm MrsEyeCanSee of course!

Happy Friday!

Friday Confessional

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I'm not working today, but sent Jamie to school anyways.  He's transitioning into Preschool this week so we had to pay for all five days.  Might as well use them!  I think I'm going to get Starbucks.  And a pedicure.  And aimlessly roam the aisles of Target for hours.  I.cannot.wait!  MOMS DAY OFF!

I get really geeky excited when I come across an adult man who goes by Jamie.  Sure Jamie is really James....and people just assume when he gets older, he'll go by that.  But I secretly hope he stays Jamie forever.  He probably always will to me.

Speaking of names.  I keep a running list of potential baby names on my phone.  You know, for that future baby I'm not even pregnant with.  At the moment, they're all boy names.  As hard of a time as we had agreeing the first time around, I figure if we start now we *might* have it narrowed down by the time there's an actual human involved.

Last week when the new Twilight movie was released, we totally watched it.  I don't even like Twilight but I had to see how it ended.  Kind of like a train wreck, I just HAD to look.

If I sub at an office that has nice toothbrushes, or some toothpaste I haven't tried yet.  I always take some.  Pretty sure I haven't actually paid for a toothbrush since college.

I still have a snowman plate sitting out in the kitchen.  Along with St. Patty's Day AND Easter decor.  My house is horribly confused as to what holiday we're supposed to be celebrating.  Quite frankly, so am I.

I found Jamie snacking on dog food.  Again.  And before I stopped him, I took a picture.  Priorities people.  I needed photographic evidence of this for future blackmail.

I got some of those Tide laundry detergent pod things and they're awesome.  I seriously sniff my clothes every time I get dressed now.  You know you're officially old when a new detergent excites you.

I bought fruit snacks for Jamie to share at school for Valentine's Day.  NEVER AGAIN!  I don't care if he thinks I'm a mean mom.  Since then all he does is whine and cry for fruit snacks.  They're like glorified gummy bears and he bounces off the walls like a kid on crack after he eats them.  Hell no.

I feel like everyone is busting a nut over Mumford and Sons.  Their music is ok.  I don't hate it.  But I don't get the obsession.

When I was getting married, those sexy Boudoir Pictures were all the rage.  I thought they were stupid.  Probably because I didn't feel sexy enough to ever do them.  Well folks, I'm eating my words now.  A Groupon came up in my inbox and it was an offer I couldn't refuse.  So when I finish the 30 Day Shred and reach my goal I'm taking it all off.  But I'm not doing it for my husband.  I'm doing them for me.  If he's lucky, I'll let him sneak a peak.

All right folks.
Off to enjoy my CHILD FREE 80 degree day off!
Happy Friday!

Friday Confessional

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I feel like everyone and their brother in the social media world thinks Chobani greek yogurt is the shit.  Well folks, I've tried them all and I'm convinced you people have never had GOOD greek yogurt.  They all taste like stinky feet.  Even the supposed kid friendly one with CHOCOLATE in it was gross.  How can you mess up chocolate???  I'll stick with my Oikos from now on thank you very much.

Jamie got a train set for Christmas, but we don't really have anywhere good to keep it setup full time so usually on the weekends we bust it out.  I've become extremely OCD that it be setup exactly the way it's shown on the box.  If even a tree or house is out of place, my inner two year old comes out.

Last week I washed our sheets.  Around 11 when we went to bed, I realized no one had ever put clean ones back on.  It was late.  We were lazy.  So we slept in the guest room.

The only person I will kiss on the lips is my husband.  That's it.  No one else.  Including my own child.  I just think it's weird.

My husband rarely goes out.  Like probably never.  So once in a blue moon if he wants to do something sans his wife and child I should be totally cool with that right?  Well the other day when he told me he was going to be home late because he was grabbing drinks with a friend I was legit mad that I'd now be stuck doing dinner and bedtime routine alone after a shitty day at work.  I'm ashamed my husband couldn't even enjoy one night out without getting a huge guilt trip from his moody wife.

Jamie loves to help feed the dog, it's become his daily "chore."  Well recently he's become more interested in taste testing the food himself.  One morning after listening to him whine about it for the millionth time I told him fine, eat the dog food.  Sure enough he did.  And I don't care.  It was one piece.

I recently started Jillian's infamous 30 day shred.  The only weights I could find were 2 pound ones which I figured wouldn't be a challenge at all.  I mean come on.  TWO pounds??  Jokes on me.  My out of shape ass is still getting her butt handed to her everyday.   2 pound weights and all.

Despite the fact that we have like 30 feet of snow on the ground with NO sign of spring, Jamie's summer wardrobe is pretty much complete.  I like to call it wishful thinking.  In reality?  It will probably be August before we see grass and he even needs those shorts.

Confessions.  They're good for the soul.
What do you need to get off your chest this week??

Friday Confessional

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Last week I was putting something in the garage fridge and noticed a foil covered casserole dish.....with sweet potato casserole in it....leftover from Thanksgiving.

Speaking of things forgotten from November.  My FIL so graciously helped us tackle a bathroom project I found on Pinterest when they were visiting right after Halloween.  Three months later and I still need to finish it.  Unfinished projects are the story of my life.  I blame Pinterest.

Back in my fatter days I used think designer jeans were stupid.  Then I finally fit into a pair and oh.my.god.  I'm now a self proclaimed designer jean snob.  Who knew jeans could fit so well....and make my ass look so good.  Thank god for the Nordstrom Rack and Paige denim at more than half price!

For my 22nd Birthday my friends sent me on a scavenger hunt complete with a life size replica of Josh Hartnett.  (Remember when he was cool?)  One of the awesome gifts I got along the way was this heinously ugly ceramic hippo.  It still proudly sits upon my fridge and has for nearly 10 years now.  I like to think it's less fugly, more vintage chic.

I'm horrible about brushing Jamie's teeth twice a day.  I'm not sure if it's a bigger mom fail.....or dental hygienist fail.

I made a rookie mom mistake this week.  I left the house without an extra pair of pants.  Sure enough, right inside the McDonalds play area my kid dropped a load.  Lesson learned.

Yesterday during naptime I watched Justin Bieber: Never Say Never.  That's 1 hour and 47 minutes I will never get back.

I pee in the shower.  I like to think of it as killing two birds with one stone.

Jamie started saying "sucks" this week.  Can't say I'm surprised.  Instead of telling him it's a word we don't say....I told him it's a word only grown ups can say.  Let's be honest, I'm probably going to slip from time to time, might as well cover my bases.

My husband bought me a Cadbury Creme egg this week as a "sorry you sliced your finger open and had to get five stitches" gift.  I didn't have the heart to tell him I really only like the caramel ones.

I found my "goal" swimsuit.  It costs way more than a few strips of spandex ever should, but I'm going to buy it anyway.  I may even pay the extra $10 and have it monogrammed.  If I start saving now, I might be able to afford the bottoms by 4th of July.  Tops are overrated.


Confessions.  They're good for the soul.
What do you need to get off your chest this week??

Friday Confessional

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On days when I'm home I've been rocking some serious mom jeans that are at least 2 sizes too big.  Saggy ass doesn't even begin to describe it, but they're so comfy I don't care.  Just to top it off I pair them with an old sorority shirt.  Safe to say I'm the hottest mom on the playground.

Since being on unemployment I haven't actually had an entire week off.  In fact I've worked enough that I haven't even qualified for a single dime.  I probably should be grateful I'm working.  And making legit money.  But part of me wants just one lousy week off to mooch off the government.

In effort to find my long lost sex drive, my GYNO suggested going off the pill.  So we're giving it a whirl.  Problem is, now I'm so damn paranoid about getting knocked up it wouldn't matter if I did find it.  Sex?  What's that?  I told my husband we'd do it again after menopause.

Sometimes I feed Jamie Chef Boy R Dee.  I'm well aware that it's not organic.  Or homemade.  And probably has no nutritional value.  But he eats it, so I don't care.  I grew up on Beefaroni and Spaghettios and I'm still alive.

The CD player in my car is broken so I often listen to music on my phone.  Pretty much every single time I do this I try to turn up the volume on the radio and then for a brief moment can't figure out why it isn't working.

Most days when I'm home I get about half way through my lunch before I realize I'm eating off a plastic toddler plate.  At least I use a big girl fork.

Our dishwasher is basically a glorified sanitizer.  I prerinse everything.  I kind of the think it's gross to a put a dish with caked on food in the dishwasher.  I don't trust that shit would ever come off.

Jamie's hair is crazy and probably needs to be cut, but after last times haircutting experience I'm not sure who's more traumatizes.  Him or me.  So I will continue to let him look homeless.  The shaggy look is in anyways.

I went to the BIG KState/KU Basketball game on Tuesday with my brother.  And proceeded to drink more in one night than I probably have in the past year.  It was awesome.  Until my alarm went off the next morning and I was quickly reminded I'm not 21 anymore.  Woof.  Going to work hungover = not a good time.

Jamie has started asking for a diaper now when he has to do a number 2 because he doesn't want to go in his big boy undies.  I told him we gave them all away to the babies.  If he's going to refuse to use the potty, that's his choice.  But I've heard horror stories about this and I'll be damned if I have a 5 year old who can only deuce in a pull up.  Hell to the no.  I'd rather wash his dirty drawers.

Two weeks in a row I've talked about my sons pooping habits on my blog.  Pretty sure he's going to hate me for that one day.....

Confessions.  They're good for the soul.
Now spill your guts!

Friday Confessional

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While packing up my desk at work I may or may not of taken a few things that weren't technically mine.  What the heck were they going to do with that pop up Elmo tooth brushing book anyways.

Yesterday my goal was to put on real pants.  As in pants I hadn't been wearing for two days.  Maybe even pants without an elastic waist.  It didn't happen.

The day before I got laid off we bought an iPad.  The financially responsible side of me says we should probably take it back now.  The other side says hell no.  Pretty sure I know which side is going to win and let's just say it doesn't involve a trip to The Mart.

Our elf was "stuck" in the tree for 3 days.  Apparently she forgot to go back to the North Pole.  Mom Fail.

I'm pretty much convinced that by the time all our Christmas decor is up, it's going to be time to take it back down.  Decorator fail.

Last week I confessed Jamie had never seen Santa and probably wouldn't this year either.  Well I broke done and we went.  Now it's all he talks about.  We're going back today.  I like to think of it as making up for lost time.  Plus it's at least an hour of FREE entertainment.  Bass Pro Shop for the win!

The past two days I've been at home, but sent Jamie to daycare.  Let's be real, I wasn't going to get anything done if he was around.

Who am I kidding.  My house looks crazier than usual and I've actually cooked less.  I really just wanted some time to myself.  It's been a long week.

Confessions.  They're good for the soul.
Link up and share yours!

Friday Confessional

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Some days I go to work super early because it’s quiet and no body is there.  Not because I want to get extra work done, but because I want to catch up on my blog reading and illegal internet surfing.

I don’t own leggings.  I feel like this makes me an outcast in the social media world.  Like I’m missing some vital part of the so called “momiform.”  Maybe I’m missing out, but honestly they give me bad 90s flashbacks to my jr high days when all I would wear were stirrup pants and oversized sweatshirts.  Those are fashion moments I don’t care to relive.  Ever.

The week Hostess went out of business and people were snatching up Twinkies left and right, I thought I’d be nostalgic and pick up a box of Oatmeal Cream Pies for one last hoorah.  Until I got home and was informed those are made by Little Debbie.  Who isn’t going bankrupt.  Snack Cake fail.

I get a little miffed when I see someone I haven’t seen for awhile and they don’t say one word about my weight loss.  HELLO!  I’ve lost 85 pounds.  Surely you’ve noticed.

I couldn’t tell you the last time we went to church.  This bothers me, but not enough to actually go.

I don’t like Will Farrell.  Or any of his movies.  Including Elf.

Last weekend I went to Target 3 days in a row.  A different one each time.  I think I need a 12 step program.

I didn’t know Elf on a Shelf had boy elves and girl elves.  On one of my many Target trips I just picked one up.  When I got home I discovered it was a girl.  This may bother some boy moms, but frankly I couldn’t care less.

Once I discovered my elf gender faux pas, I spent my next two Target trips trying to find her the Couture, limited edition, elf skirt.  If we were going to have a girl elf, dammit she was going to look like a girl.  My husband says I have problems.

This will be Jamie’s 3^rd Christmas and we’ve never taken him to see Santa.  We may try this year since he’s old enough to actually sorta, kinda get it.  But if we don’t, it’s not going to be the end of my world.

The basement playroom looks like a tornado hit and has since last weekend.  I have no intention of cleaning it up anytime soon.  Outta sight.  Outta mind.

What do you need to get off your chest this week??

Link up and confess!

Friday Confessional

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Last week I purposely bought the coconut cupcake so I wouldn't have to share.

There are times I wish I could just take off my mom hat, hang up my wife coat and check out for a day.  To think single Emily used to think she was soooo busy all the time.  I'm going to go back in time and smack her.

I still think Twilight is dumb.  But Vampire Diaries??  Best.show.ever.

Last Friday night I was in bed by 9:30.  Party animal right here folks.

I get odd satisfaction from popping a good zit.  Bonus points if it hits the mirror.

Now that pants weather is here....I consider it a good week if I shave my legs once.

I also wear these super awesome fuzzy grandma socks to bed every night.  My husband is the luckiest man alive.

The self proclaimed queen of "Respect the Turkey!" smiled a little when she saw some Christmas lights on her drive home.

At least once a week there's this guy called Psychic Andy on the morning radio show I listen to.  Usually I call bullshit on those people, but I'm totally tempted to call.  I mean really, who doesn't want to know who their spirit guide is.

I chuckle a little on the inside when I hear moms talk about major blowouts with disposable diapers.  Especially when that mom is all "Ewwww!  Cloth Diapers?!?  Gross, I could NEVER deal with all that poop"  Ummm...newsflash, you're touching WAY more poop than I ever have.  And I've never had to throw away or cut my child out of a onesie.

Call me old fashioned, but I think it's weird when you see a couple or family in the car together and the wife is driving.

Every single week that TV show Parenthood makes me cry.  Every stinkin' time.

What are your deep, dark, burning secrets??
Link up and share!

Friday Confessional

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This past weekend we were out at a park taking pictures.  When Jamie saw the playground he of course immediately wanted to go play.  We were pressed for time, so I told him it was closed.

The only reason I voted on Tuesday was because my employer gave us paid time off to do so.  I will do just about anything for extra time off.

While helping Jamie go to the potty one day he shot right over the worthless splash guard and hit me right in the thigh.  I didn't change my pants.  Honestly, in the scheme of parenthood, pee is one of the least offensive thing I've had on my clothes.

Sometimes when my coworkers invite me out to lunch, I tell them I can't go and blame it on WW.  Really I'm just looking forward to having the break room to myself and eating in peace for once.

I'm a really supersticious person, especially when it comes to my weigh in day.  I have the same ritual I follow everytime.  I realize this makes me look crazy. 

After having complete control over my body and consistently losing weight for the past 10 months, I'm scared shitless to get pregnant.

Jamie still isn't allowed to wear underwear to school.  Don't ask, it's a stupid rule. 
Another post for another day.  Anyways.  One morning he was throwing a fit because he wanted to wear his Thomas underwear.  I didn't feel like fighting with him so I let him wear them and told his teacher I didn't have any clean diapers left. 

I've been known to purposely call someone back when I know they won't be home just so I can leave a voicemail and not actually have to talk to them.

This weekend I had a small love affair with a box of girl scout cookies.  Damn you thin mints.

On Sunday I raked leaves.  I still haven't actually put them into leaf bags so now there's all these random piles all over our yard.  At least I brought the Halloween decorations in.

While watching the movie Brave for my review/giveaway, I fell asleep about 30 minutes in.  My husband is convinced that I haven't stayed awake for an entire movie the entire time he's known me.  He's probably right.

Now, for those of you who don't suffer from movie insomnia like I do...don't forget to enter the giveaway!  Winner will be announced tomorrow!
Happy Friday Peeps!

Friday Confessional

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When sitting in the lunch room at work, I often silently judge other peoples bad food choices.

I have an unhealthy fear of driving next to semis.  Being in the middle lane, with one on either side of me, aka the dreaded "semi sandwich" is seriously one of my biggest fears.  I realize how crazy this makes me sound.

The only reason I donated to the United Way through work this year.....was for the 2 extra PTO days.  And the Visa gift card.

We went to the pumpkin patch this year and didn't buy any pumpkins because I was too cheap to pay their ridiculous prices.  So at the last minute I was scrambling around to get some which are now still sitting on my porch.  Uncarved.  Mom fail.

A few weeks ago while leaving Target, I noticed one of the carts in the cart corral had a forgotten 12 pack of Dr. Pepper on the bottom rack.  It was late.  Dark.  And raining.  I was the only one in the parking lot.  So I took it.  I don't even drink pop, but I felt like I hit the finders keepers lottery.

My inlaws are coming in town for the weekend.  As of this morning my house is a wreck.  There's still crap in the guest room.  And I haven't washed a sheet or a towel in preparation for their visit.  Daughter in law fail.

The other night I texted my husband a picture of Jamie.  He was sitting on the other side of the room.  I was too lazy comfy  to just get up and show him.

I said I wasn't going to buy any Girl Scout cookies this year since we didn't need the extra cookies in the house.  In a weak moment I bought 3 boxes.

The next day someone at work was selling them and I bought 3 more.

The last trick or treaters hadn't even left my doorstep and people were already talking about Red cups and Christmas music.  This literally makes my blood boil.  I love me some Christmas, but come on.  Respect the turkey people!!

Now that the weather is getting cooler I've had to bust out my son's beloved "sacky"  aka his sleepsack.  You know.  The things babies wear.  Yeah, we're one growth spurt away from needing the one with foot holes.  The same one I saw last year and made fun of.

Confessions.  It's good for the soul.
Link up and share yours!

Friday Confessional

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Last week the hubs and I had some Champagne to toast my 75 pound victory.  I drank about half the glass and felt tipsy.  I think it's safe to say that your average high school girl has a higher tolerance than I do.

I'm not a fan of piercing baby ears.  I think it takes away that rite of passage of being a girl.  I still remember the day my mom and I went to good ole Claire's to get mine done and I can't wait to do it with my maybe one day daughter.

We desperately need some high school girl who can occasionally babysit for us, but I don't know a single one.  There's a girl who waits for the bus every morning at the bottom of our culdesac and I want to ask her, but I'm afraid I'll look like some weird lady pimping out young girls in her SUV.  Plus I'm too chickenshit to even ask.

Work has really cracked down on cell phone usage, to the point that they claim if they see you using it they have the right to take it away until the end of the day.  Seriously.  What am I....12??  So now it sits in the cabinet and I've realized how addicted I really am.  My hands get all twitchy every time I think I may have an email.  Or missed something epic on Instagram.  I think I need a 12 step program.

Unless you're taking your pet to the groomers please don't take them to pet stores.  It's dumb.  While I realize it's allowed, Sparky doesn't give a crap if he accompanies you to buy a new bag of food.

I used to have my exes email password and shortly after we broke up, I would check it on the regular.  Yep.  That's me.  The crazy stalker ex.

I often hide in the kitchen and eat so my toddler doesn't see me and beg for some himself.

I spent an obscene amount of money on a stuffed Willy the Wildcat at Target because of the look on my child's face when he saw it.  Who has two thumbs and no will power?  This girl.

If you ask Jamie what he's going to be for Halloween, he will tell you Mickey Mouse.  Except when we went to try on the MM costume, he flat out refused to wear the ears, so I refused to spend $40 on the costume.  He's going as a golfer instead.  He's two.  He really won't know the difference.  Mom fail.

Whew.  Feels good to get that off my chest.
Now go link up and spill your confessions!

Friday Confessions

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Saturday morning Jamie woke up bright and early.  So I let him watch an obscene amount of Caillou while I sat on the couch and caught up on blogs.  Parenting from the couch for the win!

I'm all for Breastfeeding.  Public.  Private.  Wherever.  If your kids gotta eat, your kids gotta eat.  I don't however enjoy seeing bare breast or an aereola shot while breastfeeding on my instagram feed.

I can count on one finger the amount of times I've smoked pot, but anytime I catch the clock at 4:20 I giggle like I'm some kind of stoner.

I had another confession here, but my husband convinced me it was too bad and I had to delete it.  I know.  I'm such a tease.  If you promise not to judge, maybe I'll include it next week.

I'm lucky if I wash my bras every few weeks.

Same goes for sheets.  I know I'm gross.  {Hangs head in shame}

Until recently, I thought the infamous Chicago bean....was in Boston.

Monday was a beautiful day.  Probably one of the last warm days we'll have for a while.  So I left work 30 minutes early for an "appointment."  Which really meant I was playing hooky to take my son to the park.

I can't stand it when parents give their child normal, traditional names but spell them weird.  You didn't just give your kid a unique name.  You just gave your kid a common name that now no one can spell or pronounce.

I put a Halloween witch up by our front porch and when the dog growled and barked at it from the window like it was a real person I totally made fun of him.  The next day when backing out of the garage I caught the witch out of the corner of my eye and jumped for a second thinking it was a real person.  I did it again the following day.

Two years in a row Shutterfly has asked me to be a part of their Christmas card giveaway.  This year they didn't and I'm pretending I don't care when really I'm pissed and tempted to buy my cards from somewhere else.  You know, because I'm sure they'd really notice the loss of my business.

Happy freaking Friday Ya'll!
Now go cleanse your soul with your own confessions!

Friday Confessional

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I have a problem with buying things I HAVE.TO.HAVE only to use them for 2 weeks or less.  If I had a dime for every hair product or beauty item collecting dust under my sink I'd be a rich woman.

I can't do my {ahem} "business" in a public bathroom unless I'm the only one in there.  What can I say, a girl needs a little privacy in life.

I don't really understand people who monogram everything.  Especially kids clothes.  I get that personalization is cute.  I'm guilty of buying Jamie a shirt or two for holidays or birthdays.  But just to wear on some run of the mill Tuesday?  Eh.  Not my thing.  Don't even get me started on smocking and jon-jons.

One morning I discovered our bathroom had no more TP.  Instead of getting a new roll, I just went to the other bathroom.

The dog puked on the floor yesterday.  I pretended not to see it so the husband would clean it up when he got home.  Lazy?  Yes.  I call it payback for giving me this wretched cold he claimed was allergies.

I found {and pulled} five gray hairs.  Five.  If that old wives tale is true I will have about 15 in a few weeks.  Joy.

My child has finally figured out how to open his door.  Instead of celebrating his new found skill I'm contemplating running to Target to buy a childproof knob cover.  Screw independence, I can't have him roaming the house at all hours of the night.

I'm the girl who pins her own stuff to keep my recipes all in one place.  Yep, that's me.  One step below the person who likes their own pictures on Instagram.

I just got an email from my boss that I have to move desks.  TODAY.  So I can sit at temporary desk with no phone and no computer for a week only to move AGAIN the following week.  The tantrum I'm about to throw would rival my 2 year olds any day.

Happy freakin' Friday people.
Link up and share your confessions!

Friday Confessional

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Last week I took Jamie to the park and he had a nonstop runny nose.  I hadn't planned on this and therefore brought nothing.  So I used my shirt.

I'm tempted to buy crappy Halloween candy to pass out so there's not some bag of chocolaty goodness sitting around my house saying "EAT ME!"

I hate the store Forever 21.  I've tried to like it.  I see so many other people find cute stuff there, but each time I walk in it's like a clusterf*ck of disorganized racks.  I can't take it.  It was also a bit of turn off when my size TWO, skinny as a freakin rail, sorority sister had to buy a size large.  I pretty much wrote them off that day.

I love Wilson Phillips.  As in the band.  You better believe anytime I'm in the car and "Hold On" comes on the radio, I'm gonna crank that shit and sing my heart out.

While I really appreciate that my husband is trying to teach our son some independence, I could have done without the new 10 minute process he's created by letting him get into his carseat "ALL BY MYSELF."  Sometime it really was easier when he was a helpless baby.

I think TVs hanging on the wall are the worst home design feature ever.  Especially over a fireplace.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not tying to hide the fact that we own a TV, but I'm not going to prominently hang it on my wall so it's the focal point of the room.  The only exception to this is in a basement or man den.

I love me some pumpkin, but I think Pinterest has created a pumpkin explosion.  I get it.  It's fall, people like it.  But not EVERYTHING I make in the next 3 months requires a can of the orange stuff.  I'm sorry.  I draw the line at pumpkin chili.  Gross.

I can't whistle.  Or wink.

Sometimes when I'm on Facebook and see that some skinny bitch I went to highschool with is fat now, I smile.

Ok.  Every time.


Anything you need to get off your chest this week?
Link up!
Happy Friday friends!

Friday Confessional

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If you've been a follower of this blog for any amount of time then you're well aware of the fact that the past TWO summers we've had bats.  Last summer I VOWED to call the bat people in August to come patch up the hole so they wouldn't return, but never did.  So this year when they came back I swore up and down I'd be getting on "the list."  Yep.  Never called.  So next summer when I'm bitching about the bats again {cause we all know I will} remind me who's to blame.

It's a good thing that whole ombre look is in because this lady hasn't had her hair done since April.  {yikes!}

I bite my nails.  I couldn't tell you the last time I actually trimmed them.  Like with real clippers.

I haven't been to a regular doctor...as in a doctor besides my OB/GYN....since we moved. {3 years ago}  I technically don't even have one here in KC.  At least I know my lady bits are healthy right??

I still wear some of my old maternity underwear.  Isn't my husband the luckiest man alive?  Me-ow!

Last week I came home and found my husband watching Twilight.  By his own choosing.  He claims it's because he had started watching it on his lunch break and HAD to finish it.  I told him that really only made it worse and I was confiscating his man card.  I guess that's more HIS confession than mine.

I refuse to eat chicken wings.  Too much work for too little food.

I had Bell's Palsy a few years ago and ever since then my one eye is a little wonky.  As in smaller than the other and is most noticeable when I smile.  No one else can see it, I think they're all crazy.

I also have some sun damage freckles that popped up on my upper lip sometime last year and it looks like a trash stache.  So that's awesome.

My favorite brand of cloth diapers was discontinuing a few colors/prints at a steal of a price so I bought them.  For a future baby I'm not even pregnant with.  That will have to be a girl.  Though real men wear pink right???

Jamie's birth announcement proof is still sitting in my Shutterfly projects folder.  I never actually ordered or mailed any out.  Mom Fail.

I think it's ridiculous to spend $30 on a kids t-shirt and side eye anyone who does.  Mini Boden, I'm looking at you.

Pretty much every Saturday morning I run to the grocery store for milk and whatever we need to make it through the weekend.  It's a toss up if I wear a bra or not.  Most times not.


Now go link up and spill your guts!
Happy Friday Peeps!

Friday Confessional

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I have really bad road rage.  One time someone cut me off and I actually followed them briefly until I realized I had gone bat shit crazy.  It's a wonder I haven't run someone off the road.

Despite my crazy road tendancies, and the amount of time I bitch about the traffic....I actually like my commute.  It's a mindless 30 minutes every morning and every afternoon where I can listen to whatever I want and no one is bugging me.  Sometimes 10 minutes will go by and I'll realize I don't even have the radio on.  Scilence really is golden.

Jamie comes home with an average of 3 art projects a week.  I used to try and save them all until I realized I'd need a small storage unit to keep them.  I now hang them on the fridge until a new one comes home and then retire the old one....to the trash.  My husband says I'm heartless, but really, how many can I realistically save before needing to be on that show Hoarders?

I occasionally use an online Scrabble dictionary when playing Words with Friends.  I don't think of it as cheating, I think of it as using my resources.

Sometimes I still have to count on my fingers for simple math.  8+5 stumps me every single time.

If I didn't catch the current events/news segment on my morning radio talk show, chances are I don't know it happened.

If it weren't for spellcheck....I'd never spell definitely right.

If I'm already out of the office for work stuff, I will run my own errands.....on work time.

See that fancy blog button up there?  I spent an entire nap time working on it.  Further proof that I'm computer illiterate.

I had a love affair with a bag of candy corn pumpkins last weekend.

I still haven't sent out Jamie's Birthday Thank You's.  From August.  Coming from the self proclaimed TY note nazi herself....that's downright embarassing.

I'm not normally size obsessed, but last week I tried on a sweater from Target and refused to by it because I would have needed the 2X.  Call me vain, but I have NOT lost 71 pounds so I can buy a freaking 2X.  PASS!

Happy Friday Peeps!

Now go link up and confess your deep, dark secrets!

Friday Confessional

I can't stand animal print.  Every time I see someone wearing those god awful leopard print flats that have become all the rage, I cringe.

I also can't stand bows on my bras and underwear.  I'm 31, not 12.  What's with the freakin' bows on everything?

Sometimes when I can't take one more minute of Barney, I shut it off and tell Jamie he's sleeping.

I'm not into politics.  Like at all.  I rarely know all the issues/candidates and only vote during presidential elections.  Sometimes not even then.

I only chew gum long enough to get the flavor then promptly spit it out.  My husband says it's wasteful, frankly I don't care.  It's gum.

I didn't go grocery shopping this week so Jamie at chicken nuggets and green beans 4 days in a row for dinner.

At my last dental checkup I had a cavity.  Hygienist fail.

I ate a giant cupcake last week and enjoyed every last calorie.  Guilt free.

Sometimes I buy things and try to convince my husband it's old so he doesn't know.

I didn't check the forecast yesterday and sent Jamie to school in shorts, a tshirt and sandals.  It was 57 and rained all day.  Mother of the year right here folks.

I never buy gas until the light comes on.

You know those fashion infinity scarves everyone wears these days?  I think they're stupid.  To me, wearing a scarf indoors is about as lame as wearing sunglasses indoors.

At some point everyday I realize I'm not longer going to do anything productive.  Today it hit me around 8:01.

Happy Friday peeps!
What are you confessions this week?!?

Friday Confessional

I don't like the Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.  I think I'm the only one.

Jamie has woke up wet at 5am every morning for the past 3 nights.  I don't think I can stuff any more inserts in his diapers and am ::::THIS:::: close to buying a pack of disposables for overnight.

The stubborn mule in me would rather change a diaper/PJs every morning at 5 figure out a solution than buy one stinking disposable.

Jamie is also showing some early signs of being ready to potty train, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it.  Some days diapers really just seem easier.
I judge people who take the elevator when they are fully capable of going up one lousy flight of stairs.

I get teary at my weekly WW meeting when I think about what I've accomplished.  I'm totally going to be the girl who cries when I reach goal.

I haven't worked out once since I joined WW.  Not once.  I keep saying when I hit a plateau I will start, but the lbs keep falling off so I have no motivation to do it.  Apparently getting rid of all the saggy, jiggly mommy bits aren't motivation enough.

We have a very strict no eating at your desk rule at work.  I'm eating an apple and some cheese as I illegally surf the Internet to type this post.  What can I say, I like living on the edge.

I'm wearing scrubs today that haven't fit in 4 years, but the top feels really flowy and maternity-ish so I will most likely shove them to the back of the closet for the next 4 years.

I love fall.  It's my FAVORITE season, but I refuse to put out any fall decorations until October 1st.  It's still too freaking hot here to be staring at pumpkins and fall leaves already.

I saw that Crocs now has a welly/Hunter type rain boot.  My first reaction was to laugh.  My second was to find a store to try them on.  Champagne taste....beer budget....and the price tag is more my style.  Even if they are Crocs.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've bought a pop from the machine in the break room.  It's been broken all week so of course all I've wanted is a freaking diet coke.  Murphy's Law.

I'm not googoo-gaga baby crazy like most women.  Meaning when I see an itty bitty baby {that's not my own} I don't have some undying urge to hold it or go and swoon all over it.  My mom was the same way and I used to joke that she was a baby hater.....now I get it.

My boss got a new haircut and it's heinous....I told her it was cute.

Whew, now that I've got all that off my chest I am ready for the weekend!!  Then again, when am I ever, NOT ready for the weekend!
"I'm so bummed it's Friday and I have 2 days off ahead of me......said no one ever!"
TGIF!