Win one for my mom today!

My mom was a HUGE college football fan.

She loved everything about.

We'd had season tickets to the KState games for over 10 years and have travelled to more away games and bowl games than I can count.

KState will always be some of our favorite family memories.

Today we were supposed to be in Manhattan, KS to watch our Wildcats take on the Oklahoma State Cowboys. Since we weren't able to be there, one of our dear friends left a single rose on my mom's seat. I know she's up there cheering today.

Let's win one for her!

Today, I'm gratetful for my feet

Right before my JR year of high school my family moved to Kansas City.

I was leaving the only home I ever knew....right in the middle of those awkward teen years.

My brother was in college and my dad travelled every week so it was just me and my mom most of the time. I had a really hard time adjusting. I wasn't making friends at my new school. I had just turned 16 and constantly got lost in my new city. One day my mom saw something on Oprah about writing in a Grateful Journal during tough times, she told me maybe I should do that. Focus on the good things in my life, not the bad. As a sassy teenager I quickly snapped back, "What do I have to be grateful for?"

In her usual joking manor she said, lot's of things, like the fact that you have feet.

I looked at her and said...really, I'm supposed to be grateful for my feet?

Ever since then it become one of our many little inside jokes. Anytime one of us would be down we'd joke and say, just be grateful you have feet.

So today....I am.

I'm also grateful for my family.

For my friends who are coming from near and far to be with me during this difficult time so I don't have to do it alone.

For my husband.....who when I opened our fridge and saw my moms coffee creamer and started to cry, offered to throw it away.

For my son....he's the bright spot in our lives right now.

For cloth diapers.....I've been using disposables since last night so I don't have to worry about the laundry when I get home and I can't help but think I'm putting a piece of paper on my sons butt. The way they get all squishy with those jelly beads when they're wet seriously grosses me out. And they stink. Even my husband noticed it this morning and he's not exactly what I'd call observant.

For all the time I got to spend with my mom these past 2 months.

For all the time she got to spend with Jamie.

For my lack of appetite. At least maybe now I'll lose the rest of that baby weight. :)

For not crying while going through all my pictures last night....for the first time since all this happened I actually enjoyed remembering the good times. And smiled.

Today my mom went to heaven

We received a phone call late last night that my moms heart had stopped. They were able to bring her back with CPR and shocked her heart three times. When we got to the hospital and spoke with the doctor he told us there was nothing more they could do for her. All we could hope for at this point was a miracle.

She continued to battle through the night but wasn't making any progress. The ventilator was breathing for her and they had given her medicine to keep her blood pressure up. Together as a family we decided she would not want to live like this and put it in hers and God's hands.

At 6:32 this morning she gave up her fight and went to heaven.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. While my mom's battle may be over I feel like ours is just beginning.

Day 5

Has it really only been five days since this roller coaster ride began?

It feels like an eternity.

Can I get off now?

Most days you kind of just exist in a fog, driving back and forth from the hospital.

Sitting and staring at your mom who is sedated and now has machines breathing for her when just a week ago she was perfectly fine.

It's been confirmed she has a severe case of pneumonia that is very aggressive and has infected her entire body. She continues to be on a ventilator and started dialysis on Saturday to help her kidneys rid her body of all the toxins left behind from the infection.

Doctors all remain very optimistic she will beat this, it's just going to take a lot of time and patience. They anticipate she will remain in the ICU on the ventilator for at least another 10-12 days.

I've been down at the lake with my dad this week, thankfully work was slow and I could take the time off. I plan on staying here through the weekend and then will head back to KC. Our newest mission is to find Jamie a daycare since it looks like grandma....aka our nanny.....is going to be out of commission for awhile.

Thank you everyone for your continued prayers and support! I will keep you all posted on any updates.

And because this blog could use a little cheering up, who can resist this little face.....

Thoughts and Prayers please

My dad went home last night because my mom had been sick with a cold for a few days. When he got there she was incoherent and having a hard time breathing. He took her to the ER and they discovered she has pneumonia and one lung is 90% blocked. They put in a breathing tube and started her on some antibiotics but her oxygen levels are not coming up like they would have hoped so they're keeping her in the ICU. I'm driving down there today to be with her and my dad. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Blog Challenge ~ Day 11

Day 11 ~ Favorite TV Shows

I've talked many, many....MANY times about my slight obsession with crappy reality TV and pre-teen shows. I'm not proud of it, but it's just for entertainment right? If I was trying to educate myself in the evenings I'd pick up a book.

Here's a few of my faves.

Glee

Teen Mom

Vampire Diaries

Gossip Girl

90210

Blog Challenge ~ Day 10

Day 10 ~ Something(s) you're afraid of

I'm afraid we will NEVER be out of debt. The mortgage and car payments I can come to terms with, but the rest drives me crazy. Just when I think we've made some good progress the car needs work or we need a new heat/AC unit for the house. It never ends.

I'm afraid of airplane bathrooms. They creep me out.

I'm afraid of having a child with special needs. I've worked with some severely autistic children and I don't know how their mothers do it. I don't think I'd be strong enough.

I'm afraid of spiders and all things equally creepy crawly.

I'm afraid I won't find a new job when my current contract is over.

I'm afraid of the fake chainsaw man that runs around haunted houses.

I'm afraid one day my boss will discover I spend the majority of my day reading blogs.

I'm afraid I might never fit into my regular jeans again.