Dear inventor of the self flushing toilet,
Next time you decide to create something that's supposed to make our lives easier, make sure it actually works. I'd prefer it NOT flush when I'm sitting on it, my booty does not need a midday shower. No matter what I do, no matter how still I sit or how I've even contemplating holding my breath so as not to set it off with my apparently heavy breathing....it still flushes every time mid business. You know when it doesn't flush. When I actually stand up to leave. Ya know...when it's supposed to! So if you could go ahead and fix those problems for the next generation of automatic flushers, that would be great.