Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The root of all evil

Money.

I don't talk about this much around here,
partially because it's boring,
but quite frankly because it's none of the interwebs business.

Well lately it's taken a toll on me, so here goes nothing.
We're trying to climb ourselves out of a hole.
A few careless choices in our {invincible} youth combined with unpaid maternity leave and the purchasing of a {money pit} home and well...it is what it is.
But we're learning from our mistakes and we're {slowly} making progress.
Even when some days it feels like we'll never see the end of it.

It's meant some sacrifices on our part.
We don't really travel much with the exception of trips to see family.
We rarely go out to eat....or buy unnecessary, frivolous things.
We've put off a lot with fixing the house.
Heck we've even put off a 2nd child because quite frankly, 2 in daycare just isn't happening.
But I'm ok with all these things.
{most of the time} 
We got ourselves into this mess and now we're paying for it.
{Literally}
The only people it's really affecting is us.
We're the ones making the sacrifices.

Until now.

Because now it's affecting someone outside of our little family of 3.
My best friend.
You see she's finally found her prince charming and getting hitched!
In Mexico.
And no matter how many times we crunch the numbers, without maxing out a credit card or selling a vital organ....it's not happening.
I won't be watching my best friend say "I do."
And I hate it.
I hate that I can't return the favor and shower her like she did for me when I got married.
I hate that I'm letting her down.
And I really hate that someone else now has to be disappointed because of my financial {or lack there of} status.

Money.  It really is the root of all evil.


15 comments:

SG to SP said...

Aww that sucks but I'm sure she understands and maybe you can throw her a baby shower one day instead!

Molly B said...

I hear you...the same thing happened to me, my bestie got married in July in Dominican Republic and I was the MOH and couldn't go- I had to stay home...it is the most horrible feeling, but your bestie will understand. Money is such a bitch- it really is

Jen said...

Sorry to hear that. I am in the same boat.

I have been enjoying your blog for several months now, and just haven't commented before. You really crack me up sometimes.....especially with the he said/she said! And Jamie is such a cutie pie!

Lindsey said...

I know we discussed this before, so I feel your pain. We have crunched the numbers and it just isn't going to happen. It is even worse when out of all the family on both sides, we are the only ones NOT going. But, I can't justify spending $4800 on a week trip. When I let them know we wouldn't be going, I made sure to let them know that even though we wouldn't be there that day, that there are soo many more momentous occasions we will be around for.

Molly said...

I'm so sorry. But I totally know how you feel. You know, we're doing Dave Ramsey now and climbing out of the hole we've got ourselves into.

There are HARD sacrifices to make right now. But it will allow us to live our BEST life soon.

Doesn't mean it doesn't suck though sometimes when everyone else is spending money like it grows on trees!

Irish Carter of Dedicated 2 LIFE said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I too have been in the hole and had to make BIG sacrifices to correct my past choices. Wishing you the best. I love your honesty and genuineness that you share---your Blog is so REAL! Glad I found it and believe your bestie will find it in her heart to understand.

I too (like Molly) love what Dave Ramsey teaches and have his books. I know people that have gone through his programs and great things have happened for them. It's just a realistic plan that you can see right in front of your face when you crunch your numbers.

Good luck with everything. = )

Irish

Emily said...

So glad to see others already mentioned Dave Ramsey! If it weren't for him we'd probably be worse off then we were. We had about $60,000 (no house so no mortage debt)in debt by the time we were 20/22. We were not smart.

We have also taken financial classes at out church.. pretty much learning as much as possible.

Money really does suck when we are careless with it :/ in turn we had to make huge sacrafices to get where we are today. Frank volunteered to go on a 13 month deployment just so we could fast track our snowball. Not many people willingly want to go spend a year stuck on a base playing babysitter to terrorist. But between that and me moving home for 7 months (hell for me) we were able to pay off most of our remanding debt.

It has been super hard. We missed out on a year of our marriage, we don't go out, we don't buy things unless we desperatly need them.. however, with using everything we learned from Dave we are about 2 months away from being able to yell WE'RE DEBT FREE!!

You guys will get there! We make mistakes so that we can learn from them. Find fun free things you guys can do as day dates as a family :] It can be fun getting creative!

Good luck, I pray for nothing but the best for you guys.

Melissa said...

I'm sorry you can't watch your friend get married :(

Allie said...

Awe I am so sorry! That really blows, your best friend I am sure will understand! Xo

R said...

I'm currently going through a similar situation. Granted the wedding I'm trying to attend is in CT not Mexico, but no amount of penny pinching and ramen noodle dinners will make it possible to spend $800ish for a 3 day trip. It stinks to have to give things up now because I was so careless as a 20 year old with my money.

Kristen said...

that really stinks! I went to a Mexico wedding last September and it was an amazing time. We paid about $1800 for the entire thing. Thankfully we were able to save some tax return money and pay like that. Let me know if you need the name of our travel agent, she found amazing deals. Maybe she can work some magic for you?

Carol {Everyday Delights} said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! You know seeing the post above, I wonder if maybe you could make it work maybe by staying at a different hotel? Maybe one down the road that could be a little cheaper? but even if you cant make it I know your friend will totally understand.

dave and jenn said...

:( That sucks. However, props to you for not maxing out your credit card to make it happen. Some people would do that no matter how it would affect them in the future! I'm sure your friend will understand (though I know that doesn't make it any less bothersome for you).

Erin Reissig said...

Aw I'm sad things didn't work out. I can't even imagine how sad you area bout the turn of events. I agree with other readers and think that you'll be able to make it up to her in the long run.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Oh no! That really stinks that you can't be with her in Mexico but I can understand having to make sacrifices because of previous money decisions. Maybe you could get a part time job or something to make the money to go?