It's OK

It's OK

....to cry before 8am.  Twice.  Some mornings are just like that. 

....to fall off the wagon.  It's how fast you get back on that's most important.

....to be late to work because your son says "Up mama up!  I wanna hug!"  I mean really?  Who could say no to that?

....to freak out because your period is like 2 seconds late

....to have a big sigh of relief when it shows up an hour later and practically do cartwheels in the bathroom at work.  Guess the baby fever isn't as bad as I thought!

....to change your mind 102343978 times in one day on whether or not you're going to have a party for your childs birthday.

....to get excited over stupid stuff like a new scent of laundry detergent.  Sometimes it's the little things.

....to say "Ch-ch-ch-chia!" every time you talk about the chia seeds you bought for the overnight oatmeal you're geekily excited to try

....to not be sad everyone else in your family turned their noses up at the delicious raspberries you bought.  More for me!

....that 3 weeks later you still haven't finished the third shades of grey book.  I mean come on, how much sex can two people really have.  I'm sort of over it.

....to wish you were on a plane to Mexico for your best friends wedding instead of sitting at work


Happy {I wish it were Friday} Thursday!

Eat what you love

Last weekend I fell of the wagon.

I was like a fat kid in a candy store.

At my WW meeting we talked about how important it is to not completely deprive yourself of your favorite foods.

Only eating "diet" food for the rest of eternity is just not acheiveable and pretty much setting yourself up for disaster when the diet comes to an end.

Restrict yourself so much that one day you just crack.

{A roller coaster story I know all too well} 

You need to find a good balance.

You need to find a way to incorporate your old ways with your new ways.

I decided to take these words to heart. 

So on Friday, I stopped at Chic-fil-a for lunch.

Now I didn't do too bad....I went with the grilled chicken sandwhich and only had a small fry.

Well apparently it acted like a gateway drug because after that I thought I'd also have a cookie.  Or five.

By the time dinner rolled around I had already used all my points for the day, so I figured I might as well live it up.

And live it up I did.

It somehow managed to roll into Saturday....which rolled into Sunday...and by the end of the weekend I felt like crap.

Partially because of the guilt, but mainly because of all the crap I had been eating.  I wasn't used to eating all that junk.

I was tired.  I was bloated.  I felt fat.  I cetainly didn't feel like a person who had celebrated losing 50 pounds just days before.

It was really a wake up call for me. 

That while I have come a long way from the girl I was 5 months ago, I still have a long way to go.

I still have a lot to learn about eating healthy and making it a permanent life change.

Sure I can stay on track and resist temptation most of the time.

That's pretty obvious by my success.

What I have to figure out is how to indulge the right way.

How to eat what I love and still stay on course.

Some days I'm already afraid for what happens after I reach my goal.

When I leave the comfort zone of being on a diet and have to enter the unknown of maintaining my weight loss.

It's honestly a place I've never been before.

Unchartered territory.

I seem to know how to do two things.

Gain weight.

And lose weight.

But I have no clue how to just maintain.

Quite frankly it scares me. 

I'm hoping with time I'll figure it out.

For now I'm just glad to be back on the wagon.

Back in the groove.

Fingers crossed my weekend binge doesn't bite me in the ass too bad come tomorrow....

Summer, summer, summertime!

We hit triple digits in KC yesterday.

Woof.

I think it's safe to say the dog days of summer are officially here!

I couldn't think of a better way to stay cool than stripping down to our swim dipe and hitting the back yard!

Jamie agreed!

If eating popsicles and running through a {palm tree}

sprinkler doesn't say summer.....I don't know what does!

Happy Monday Peeps!

Better late than never

So six months ago when I got my fancy new blog design....I had the lovely Katie add a few pages across the top.

See all those extra little links right up there??

Yep.  They've been blank ever since.

Oops.

Until this weekend that is.

I finally filled them in!

So feel free to check them out!

These are my obsessions: Summer time!

Well we're officially in the throws of summer!

Though with as hot as our spring was, it feels like we've been in the dog days for months now!

I love how long the days seem this time of year.  We've been taking advantage of the extra daylight and heading up to the park or pool in the evenings.  It's been perfect and I know when the cooler temps start sneaking in we will miss this!

Here's a few of my current summer obsessions!

My husband LOVES any scent that involves the words "clean" "fresh" "linen"  or "cotton"  I usually don't mind that in the house, but for myself?  No thanks.  I prefer not to smell like a dryer sheet.  So when I saw this, I got a free sample from Sephora as a joke.  Well jokes on me.  It's so light and fresh, a little hint of lemon.  I love that it's not overpowering and has been a perfect summer scent.  And of course, the hubs loves it too.  The first time I wore it he actually noticed and commented how good I smelled.  Ladies, this never happens, he's not a big perfume guy.  I may have to break down and buy it since I'm now on free sample bottle number 2!

I have been wanting to try this brand for a long time so you can imagine my excitement when I discovered I got TWO of their lip glosses for FREE as my Sephora Birthday gift.  One tinted.  One regular.  They're amazing!  And they smell delicious, like a lemon bar.  It's also the first tinted chapstick that actually gives you a hint of color without looking like a clown.  It's quickly become my go to lip stuff. 

Since I joined WW I haven't been drinking much.  I like food too much to "waste" points on adult bevvies, but with summer here and more trips to the lake I was determined to find something I could drink that wouldn't break the bank.  Enter Skinny Girl Coconut vodka.  YUM.  I mix one shot with a can of La Croix coconut flavored sparkling water and a twist of lime.  It's almost sinful.  And only 3 points!

I've been on the search for a good pink blush for awhile now, but everything I tried fell short and wasn't "pink" enough.  Someone convinced me to check out Bare Minerals Fruit Cocktail.  Not going to lie.  When I first saw it, I thought "Oh hell no."  It looks SUPER bright.  But trust me.  It goes on a nice, fresh faced, dewy pink.  Plus it has a nice shimmer to it.

I've been a strictly silver/white gold jewelry girl for years now, but for some reason, I had the itch to add a little yellow gold into my life.  It just looks so good with a tan!  I wanted something simple that I could wear everyday.  When I saw the gold Karma necklace from Dogeared I knew it wold fit the bill perfectly.  I love it!

Every time I walk into my house I feel like I'm at the beach.  Then I look outside at my dying grass and remember I'm not.  At least with my Sea Spray wallflowers I can pretend.  This may be one of my favorite scents they've had in awhile. 

I've actually had this Charlotte & Tipit ring since high school, but it's been sitting in my jewelry box collecting dust and tarnish for years now.  Well this summer it's making a comeback!  I don't have a picture of any of the other pieces that go with it, but the center part is interchangeable making it perfect for pretty much anything.  I have about a dozen different bobbles in all shapes and colors.  I even have two neon ones which I've been wearing a ton in light of the new trend!  I love rediscovering old things!

Last but not least, my summer arm candy.  I've seen similar bracelets on instagram, etsy and all over the blogosphere, so when I saw these come up on Zulily one day for super cheap I jumped on them!  The company is called Pura Vida and all their items are made locally in Costa Rica.  They had SOOOO many color combos I had a hard time choosing, but ended up with these, the "girly girl" set.  If it weren't for work, I'd never take them off!  {You can also see my Tipit ring in the picture with the "blue fish" bauble.  Perfect for summer days at the lake!}

So there you have it.  My summer obsessions.

What are you digging this season??

Brain Dump

My baby was swimming this weekend. 
Like no one holding on. 
In the deep end. 
Swimming. 
With a floaty on of course, but still. 
I predict he'll be doing back flips off the diving board by Labor Day. 
Summer Olympics 2028 here we come!

Speaking of the Olympics. 

I am geekily excited over them starting! 

I love me some gymnastics! 

I think it would be awesome to see the games in person some day. 

Maybe I will add that to my bucket list.

This weekend I had TWO people whisper congratulate me on my weight loss. 
As if they had to keep it hush hush. 
Ummm....this is nothing to keep quiet people. 
I've lost almost 50 pounds {49.6 to be exact} in 5 months...I'm shouting it from the root tops.

This morning I had this really weird urge to clean the bathroom. 

Like nesting minus the pregnant part. 

Moments like that don't happen often for me, but when they do I jump on it. 

So at 6:30am, in my mumu, you could find me scrubbing toilets.

I gave Birch Box a few months,
but after getting one more sample of old lady perfume and designer bandaids this time around....
I cancelled that shit. 
Really?  Bandaids?  Come on.

I've decided when I reach my goal weight I'm buying myself a pair of designer jeans. 

I've never owned any. 

Partially because it seems ridiculous to spend that much on pants,

but mainly because apparently you have to be thin to wear them. 

Even at my wedding weight a few years back I couldn't squeeze my butt into them. 

And believe me, I tried. 

Mark my word, I'm going to rock them by New Years!

I {think} we've decided not to have a party for Jamie's Birthdaythis year.  It just seems silly to go all out with a theme and invites and all the planning and expense that goes along with it when we will be down at the lake and the only people who will be there are us, my dad, brother and my in laws.  We will still celebrate of course....just no big to do.

I've still been scouring Etsy like it's my job,

mentally planning the party we {probably} aren't going to have. 

Let's just say it would be adorable!

I've been looking at big boy room things. 
Because apparently I have a big boy now. 
{sniff, sniff} 
Why is it all the bedding I find is either character themed or too grown up. 
Where are they hiding all the cute, not annoyingly babyish, boy stuff!    

In my big boy room searches I also found these to die for cute

name letters that match our current {discontinued} nursery bedding. 

I may or may not have gasped out loud when I found them

and immediately told the hubs we needed to pin down a boy and girl name

so I could order them ASAP 

because lord knows by the time we actually need them

I won't be able to find them again. 

I was only sort of kidding. 

Baby fever say what?

Happy thank god it's almost Friday!

Tasty Tuesday ~ Margarita Pie

Looking for a cool, refreshing dessert that won't ruin your waistline?

Have a got a treat for you!

I found this gem while looking for a Weight Watchers friendly dessert for my birthday.

I knew as soon as I saw the words Margarita and Pie together that this was going to be right up my alley and it did not disappoint!

Who can't get on board with a sweet treat that has tequila in it??

Photo Courtesy of Weight Watchers.com

Margarita Pie

what you need:

2 1/3 oz pretzel(s), miniature twists (about 2 cups)

1 Tbsp sugar   

2 Tbsp light butter, at room temperature   

6 oz frozen limeade concentrate, slightly thawed   

4 cup(s) light vanilla ice cream   

1 1/2 oz tequila, about 3 tbsp   

1/2 fl oz orange-flavoured liqueur   

1 tsp lime zest   

what you do:

Preheat oven to 375°F. In a food processor or blender, process pretzels into crumbs; add sugar and pulse until combined. Add butter and mix well. With machine running, add 2 tablespoons of limeade concentrate; process until well-mixed.

Spoon mixture into an ungreased 9-inch pie plate. With back of a spoon, press mixture firmly into bottom and up sides of pan to form a pie shell. Bake until set, about 5 minutes; place in freezer for 10 minutes to cool.

Meanwhile, in a clean food processor or electric mixer, combine ice cream, remaining limeade concentrate, tequila and liqueur; process or mix until just blended. Spoon ice cream mixture into cooled pie shell and sprinkle with lime zest. Freeze for 2 hours before cutting into 8 pieces. Yields 1 slice per serving.  6 points plus. 

I found the piece to be VERY generous, you could cut it in half for even less points!
Bon Appetite!

Mama's Boy

On Saturday Jamie turned 22 months.

22.

Hard to believe the early birthday planning has begun!

Didn't he JUST turn 1??

We've officially moved to Toddler 2.  The last room before preschool.

Pardon me while I go cry in a corner.

Luckily all of Jamie's little friends made the change together, but he still had a little anxiety with the move.

Drop offs in the morning pretty much became the worst experience ever.

He even managed to bring his own mama to tears one day which hasn't happened since day 1 when he was 3 months old.

Knock on wood, things have been MUCH better and he seems to back to his old self.

They've also started VERY early potty training.

He has yet to actually go on the potty, but his teacher says asks all the time, so anytime he asks, on the potty he goes.

Here's to hoping as we get closer to 2 the peer pressure to catch up with his two older girlfriends kicks in.

If not?  That's ok too.  I'm pretty sure he won't be taking diapers to college.

He seems to do everything in his own time. 

He's starting to string more and more things together and talking in little 2-3 word phrases and asking LOTS of questions.  We're also pretty sure he said dammit on day.  So that's awesome.  {NOT}

Summer is in full swing with lots of trips to the park and the pool.

Not a day goes by he doesn't ask to ride his wagon and go "simmin"

I just love this age and finally getting to go and out and do things.

It can only get better from here!



It's OK

 

 It's OK...

 

...To be kind of nervous pretty much every single week on "weigh in" day, even though you've done great and really have no reason to worry.

 

...To ask for a Garden Flag for your birthday even though you realize how old that makes you sound.

 

...To bring your child into your bed every morning when he wakes up at 6.  Sure it's a little crowded and you may or may not get punch and/or kicked in the face a few dozen times, but it beats actually having to wake up.  Sleep is precious.  Even just 15 extra minutes.

 

...To swoon over the 1 week old baby you saw at an engagement party last week and then proceed to tell your husband that you want one.

 

...To tell your husband after watching that show "7 Days of Sex" that you are totally up for that challenge....and then to fail after day 1.  Seven days of sex is a lot of sex people.  This mama is too tired for that shit.

 

...To find out your 16 year old cousin reads your blog everyday and wonder if you should still talk about sex and say shit.  {Hi Mikki!}

 

...To be naive enough to think a 16 year old doesn't already know all about sex.  And probably says shit as much as you do.  {Sorry Julie!}

 

...To say shit three four times in one blog post

 

...To melt into a puddle of mama mush every time Jamie comes over and says "Hug mama."

 

...To wish grown-ups got summer vacations too.  I could really use 3 months off right now!

 

...That the only reason you did your hair and wore makeup one day last week is because you were getting a new drivers license.

 

...To wake up every morning and immediately check your phone and catch up on all your many forms of social media.  I like to think of it as my morning cup of coffee.  My husband likes to think of it as iPhone OCD.

 

...That 3 years later you're still bummed you don't get Friday's off anymore.  Or free trips to Hawaii.

 

 Happy {almost} Friday friends!

 

Dear Mom

It's your Birthday!

All those years I loved having our special days so close together, now I wish they were light years apart.

Though I don't think it would make this day any easier.

I miss the back and forth banter over who's birthday it is.  The constant phone calls reminding me that YOUR special day is in fact less than 24 hours away.  And waking up the day after my birthday to wish you a happy happy on yours.

Missing you always, but especially today.

Hope you're enjoying your DQ Ice Cream cake today!
With EXTRA fudge and cookie crumbles of course!
A David wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Birthday Mom!
Love Always,
Em

31 for 31

Well here we are.

Another year older.

Another year wiser.

I'm officially IN my 30s.

No longer the new kid on the block.

And my husband?  He's still in his 20's.

At least for 2 more months.

If that doesn't make a girl feel old I don't know what does!

In honor of 31 years I've come up with 31 things I'd like to do in the next 365 days.

1.  Re-read my favorite book ~ The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

2.  Get a massage

3. Put up a chair rail in the dining room

4.  Finally throw some color up on these boring beige walls!  I'm thinking RED!

5.  Take a bubble bath {or two}6. Run a 5K

7. Hang up a gallery wall

8.  Take the digital picture frame we got as a wedding gift (3 1/2 years ago!!) out of the box

9. Install the new outdoor lights my mom bought

10.  Go to a Drive-In movie

11.  Go on a spontaneous date night

12. Take Jamie to a Royal's game

13.  Go to the new Aquarium

14.  Try a {few} new restaurants

15.  Be a tourist in my own city

16.  Go to a concert

17. Take a family vacation

18. Take an adults only getaway

 19.  Think about trying for baby #2 {maybe}

20. Build a sand castle

21. Drink wine and have a Sex and the City marathon like I did in my single days

22.  Try {at least} one new recipe a month

23.  Get up early with a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise

24.  Laugh more

25.  Worry less

26.  Host a girls night

27.  Read {at least} one book a month

28.  Take a carriage ride through the Plaza during the holidays

29.  Make Creme Brulee

30.  Go down to 18th and Vine ~ The Jazz District

31.  Reach my goal weight

There you have it. 
31 for 31.
Happy Birthday!

Boys and their toys

 I just hope he's this excited about mowing the lawn in 10 years!

 

Who's that girl?

Lately as the pounds have been coming off people have been showering me with comments like:

"Hey hot mama!"

and

"Look at you skinny!"

I can't seem to wrap my head around it and usually respond with something like:

"Skinny?  Me??  Yeah right, maybe in about 50 more pounds."

It's sad really. 

I often wonder if I'll ever reach that point where I'm completely happy with my body.

Does any woman?

I hate that instead of being excited and proud for how far I've come, all I can dwell on is how much further I have to go.

It's like I look in the mirror and still see the old me.

I pinch and poke at every roll, every soft spot and every stretch mark.

My husband tells me I'm beautiful and I just laugh.

Cause what could possibly be beautiful about this.

Well this weekend I think I finally started to see what everyone else sees.

I started to appreciate the new me.

I looked in the mirror....and I liked what I saw.

The person looking back at me was rocking that blue dress.

She was confident.  And beautiful.

Hard to believe that this was me just a few months ago.

On Saturday when I went to by new bras and I stood in the dressing room shirtless, I admired how my pants hung on my hips without even the hint of muffin top, and how I actually have a waist again.

Sure my stomach isn't as flat as I'd like it be.  But compared to where I started I looked damn good.

Then yesterday in one of my new summer outfits I felt comfortable.  I wasn't constantly tugging at my clothes in an effort to hide something.  And every time I passed a mirror I had to do a double take at who that skinny girl was.

Me!

Do I still have a long road ahead of me to reach my goal?

Yes.

But I also have a lot of road behind me and that's something to be proud of.

It's something to celebrate.

So I'm going to try to stop being so hard on myself.

I'm going to learn to embrace the body I have right now instead of constantly focusing on how I want it to be.

And I'm going to accept all those compliments with a big smile and answer back

"That's right!  Hot mama coming through!"

Weird Science

Last month during our trip to Columbus {Hometown}, OH we decided to take Jamie to the science museum -- Cosi.  To say we had fun would be a huge understatement.  Boy had a blast!  We all did!  I hadn't been in years and never with a kid.  It's so amazing to see things you've seen before, but through the eyes of your child.  Totally awesome.  I also had the chance to play around with my father in laws fancy schmancy DSLR camera and got some pretty good  decent pictures for a total novice.  Though it didn't help my camera fever at all!  So pardon the photo dump that's about to occur.

So there you have it.  An almost flashback Friday of sorts.  Feels like forever since we were there!

And Yep.  I was totally {that} mom.  The one with the giant camera attached to her face the whole time!
I loved every minute of it!
Happy Friday Friends!