Lately as the pounds have been coming off people have been showering me with comments like:
"Hey hot mama!"
"Look at you skinny!"
I can't seem to wrap my head around it and usually respond with something like:
"Skinny? Me?? Yeah right, maybe in about 50 more pounds."
It's sad really.
I often wonder if I'll ever reach that point where I'm completely happy with my body.
Does any woman?
I hate that instead of being excited and proud for how far I've come, all I can dwell on is how much further I have to go.
It's like I look in the mirror and still see the old me.
I pinch and poke at every roll, every soft spot and every stretch mark.
My husband tells me I'm beautiful and I just laugh.
Cause what could possibly be beautiful about this.
Well this weekend I think I finally started to see what everyone else sees.
I started to appreciate the new me.
I looked in the mirror....and I liked what I saw.
The person looking back at me was rocking that blue dress.
She was confident. And beautiful.
Hard to believe that this was me just a few months ago.
On Saturday when I went to by new bras and I stood in the dressing room shirtless, I admired how my pants hung on my hips without even the hint of muffin top, and how I actually have a waist again.
Sure my stomach isn't as flat as I'd like it be. But compared to where I started I looked damn good.
Then yesterday in one of my new summer outfits I felt comfortable. I wasn't constantly tugging at my clothes in an effort to hide something. And every time I passed a mirror I had to do a double take at who that skinny girl was.
Do I still have a long road ahead of me to reach my goal?
But I also have a lot of road behind me and that's something to be proud of.
It's something to celebrate.
So I'm going to try to stop being so hard on myself.
I'm going to learn to embrace the body I have right now instead of constantly focusing on how I want it to be.
And I'm going to accept all those compliments with a big smile and answer back
"That's right! Hot mama coming through!"