Monday, June 4, 2012

Who's that girl?

Lately as the pounds have been coming off people have been showering me with comments like:
"Hey hot mama!"
and
"Look at you skinny!"
I can't seem to wrap my head around it and usually respond with something like:
"Skinny?  Me??  Yeah right, maybe in about 50 more pounds."
It's sad really. 
I often wonder if I'll ever reach that point where I'm completely happy with my body.
Does any woman?
I hate that instead of being excited and proud for how far I've come, all I can dwell on is how much further I have to go.
It's like I look in the mirror and still see the old me.
I pinch and poke at every roll, every soft spot and every stretch mark.
My husband tells me I'm beautiful and I just laugh.
Cause what could possibly be beautiful about this.
Well this weekend I think I finally started to see what everyone else sees.
I started to appreciate the new me.
I looked in the mirror....and I liked what I saw.
The person looking back at me was rocking that blue dress.
She was confident.  And beautiful.
Hard to believe that this was me just a few months ago.
On Saturday when I went to by new bras and I stood in the dressing room shirtless, I admired how my pants hung on my hips without even the hint of muffin top, and how I actually have a waist again.
Sure my stomach isn't as flat as I'd like it be.  But compared to where I started I looked damn good.
Then yesterday in one of my new summer outfits I felt comfortable.  I wasn't constantly tugging at my clothes in an effort to hide something.  And every time I passed a mirror I had to do a double take at who that skinny girl was.
Me!
Do I still have a long road ahead of me to reach my goal?
Yes.
But I also have a lot of road behind me and that's something to be proud of.
It's something to celebrate.
So I'm going to try to stop being so hard on myself.
I'm going to learn to embrace the body I have right now instead of constantly focusing on how I want it to be.
And I'm going to accept all those compliments with a big smile and answer back
"That's right!  Hot mama coming through!"

Photobucket



20 comments:

jdavissquared said...

Good for you! You do look amazing, and darn right you should be proud!

Keep it up, girlie!

Ashley said...

Good for you!! You HAVE come a long way, and you've worked your butt off (literally) to get to where you are now, so glad that you're seeing what everyone else sees!

Shannon said...

You really do look great! Keep up the good work.

i'm jess said...

Woooo... girl! Go on with your bad self, you look amazing! You are as beautiful as always but I like the new confidence, embrace that body and keep on keeping on!

Melissa said...

You look wonderful! Be proud and enjoy your new body!

Ashley said...

You deserve every compliment you get. It's hard work and you deserve the praise. You look amazing!

Emily said...

You have so much to be proud of! You are doing an awesome job, and look amazing!!

dave and jenn said...

You should definitely be proud of yourself! You look awesome!

Lindsey said...

Embrace it! I have had several women close to me struggle with eating disorders while I was growing up. It was not fun to watch and I hate when any conversation turns to weight, tone, etc.

I will always stick to a promise I made to my mom about my body image as well. So much so, I gave up my college athletic scholarship because my coach wanted me to see a nutritionist.

Lindsey said...

Embrace it! I have had several women close to me struggle with eating disorders while I was growing up. It was not fun to watch and I hate when any conversation turns to weight, tone, etc.

I will always stick to a promise I made to my mom about my body image as well. So much so, I gave up my college athletic scholarship because my coach wanted me to see a nutritionist.

Becky said...

You look AMAZING-and I think it is all in how you feel girl! Keep it up! You can see that you feel good!

The Friendly Skies said...

You look fantastic! woo hoo!!!! Keep it up and keep looking at your changes and be proud. You are beautiful mamma! :)

Erin said...

You look great, lady! I know what you mean about the mirror. I've lost 40 pounds (with 10-15 left to go) and I still see the same girl who was staring at me a year ago. But? None of her clothes fit me & I weigh less than I did on my wedding day...that's enough for me for now :)

Slow & steady wins the race! You can do this!

R said...

I think you're right. Most women have a hard time being happy with their body, no matter how fantastic they are doing. I think you're kicking butt!

Jamie said...

You look great! I need some of your motivation, for sure!!

Kelsey @ Seattle Smith's said...

You should be SOOOO proud girl, I'm impressed and love that you documented this! Keep it up!

Cheryl Ann said...

good for you, girl! i've been reading your blog for a long time, but never really commented much, but this definitely requires some props ;) you look awesome!!!

Christina said...

You are looking amazing!

R said...

You being brave enough to show off your journey has inspired me to do the same. Check it out on Friday!

romancingrachel.blogspot.com

Samantha said...

Way to go!! Keep it up!