Some days it takes longer to actually get ready to leave the house than the outing itself.
Today, peaches will be their favorite food. They will eat them faster than you can slice them. Tomorrow, they will hate them. They will throw them on the floor. Feed them to the dog. Clamp their mouth shut and flat out refuse to eat them all while screaming "NOOOOOO PEACHES!!!!!"
You will pick out the perfect toy that you know they will just love. Fork out big dollars for it, bring it home, assemble it. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Mom for the win! They will play with it for approximately 2.5 seconds. The flimsy battery operated fan that came in their Easter basket? That will entertain them for days.
It is possible to ask "mama, what you doing?" 23983471 times in one hour. Apparently they have the memory of a goldfish.
Nap time is never long enough. Except when you have to go somewhere. Then they decide to try and break the record for world's longest nap.
You can accomplish a lot in one 22 minute episode of Barney.
A hug from mom can solve just about anything. It's even more powerful than bandaids.
Car washes are scary.
Goldfish crackers are like gold and can be used to ward off tantrums in pretty much any situation.
If a cheesy children's music CD keeps them happy in the car you will gladly listen to it on repeat for 2 1/2 hours straight. Anything is better than the alternative.
White clothing shouldn't even be made in toddler sizes. After the first 5 minutes, it will never be white again.
No is their least favorite word in the English language. Unless they're saying it. Then it's number 1 and must always be said at a level loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.
Toddlers. They're not for the faint at heart.