Bump Day -- 30 weeks

View from the top! Can you see toes? Me either. Know what else I can't see....now you can better understand the shaving dilemma!
How far along? 30 weeks!

Weight gain/loss: This week: Up 3 more pounds. Total: 20...ugh. I'm starting to get slightly concerned with all the rapid gain lately. I have 10 more weeks to go....that's a lot more time and I'm already up so much. I think I took advantage of those first 20 weeks when I didn't gain anything and ate whatever I wanted...and now it's all caught up to me. I don't feel like I'm eating that badly which sucks. I could definitely cut out some of the junk....but what fun is that? I'm starting to think living in denial could be the way to go!

Maternity Clothes? You better believe it!

Sleep: Good this week! I've even miraculously stopped needing the middle of the night potty break. Not sure why, but I'll go with it!

Stretch marks: Nope. My mom tried to point some out on my hips but I can safely say I've had those battle wounds for years! The varicose veins on my legs however...yikes! I've read they go away after the baby is born....I certainly hope so!

Best moment this week: My family shower! It was so good to see everyone and I can't believe how much stuff we got! Holy generous batman! Highchairs, bouncy seats, swings and exersaucers oh my! It's hard to believe we still have one more shower to go, I feel like we pretty much have everything and more! Oh! And my mom left my dad in charge of buying the gift....of ALL the things on the registry what does my father pick....the breast pump. Haha. Granted I was STOKED cause it's pretty pricey and I figured no one would buy it cause people are weird about that kinda stuff....apparently not my dad! I can just seeing him, standing in the Target checkout line...with a breast pump. If only someone had taken a picture!

Movement: All.the.time. I swear the boy never sleeps! I got a great video on my phone the other day, but it's way to dark to see anything....boo! I'll try again with better lighting...for those who have never seen the pregnant belly dance...it really is amazing. Though my husband is completely weirded out by it and only watches when I force him.

Food cravings: As fat as I feel lately apparently I'm craving (and eating) everything. Last night I was craving something cold....like a sandwich or salad. Kinda random.

Gender: Team wiener!

Labor Signs: Not a one. I read about these braxton hicks contractions all the time and other women have them all throughout their pregnancy. I haven't felt a thing. Not a cramp, not a twinge. Nothin'

Belly Button in or out? It's getting flatter but still in. I did see my belly button ring scar for the first time ever....

What I Miss: Margaritas. Me and my fellow preggo friend had virgin ones the other night. When your favorite part about a drink is the tequila....and they take that away....it's not quite the same.

What I'm looking forward to: Three glorious, sun filled days at the lake. So what if that has nothing to do with the baby!

Weekly Wisdom: When you start to feel the heartburn creeping up after eating cereal....chicken wings probably aren't a good idea.

Milestones: Only 10 weeks to go, 6 weeks until I'm considered full term. Holy cow we better get moving on the nursery!

Giggling like a school girl....

Ok. I can't be the only one who sees this commercial....and immmediately starts laughing.

Or perhaps my mind truly IS eternally in the gutter....

The one where I bare it all

(yeah that's not me....I wish!)

With Memorial Day weekend fastly approaching,

it's safe to say summer is officially here.

That and the 90 degree temps we've had all week.

Thank god for a brand new A/C or this preggo would be dying!

Usually I welcome summer with open arms,

this one is really no different,

however instead of all my usual swimsuits to choose from I'm stuck with one.

I've affectionately nicknamed it my "swim-mumu" cause let's be honest,

that's exactly what it looks like.

I'm not one to rock the belly baring two piece.

I haven't even been brave enough to take a bare belly pic yet.

It's just not a cute pregnant belly.

It's kinda wide and saggy and all over the place....no skinny minny bball here!

So needless to say I went the tankini route.

Here's the next problem.

Most of them are cut to fit below the belly...however mine is such a low rider, the only thing below it is my hoo-hah (yes I just talked about my lady bits on the internet...there will be more talk of it later, so the weak stomached might as well jump ship now...you've been warned)

I can't wear anything but full panel pants...anything low rise is outta the question.

So not only did I get a tankini...the bottoms are full grandma style briefs and the top resembles that of a swim dress.

Yikes.

I'm still going to wear it.

I'm not vain enough to spend the entire summer hiding inside.

I don't understand those pregnant women who refuse to wear one.

Now onto the scary part.

I know right...as if describing my swim-mumu wasn't birth control enough.

There's a little issue of below the belt maintenance.

At this point I feel like I haven't even seen my hoo-hah since the late 90s so it's safe to say my usual grooming routine has been tossed out the window.

Outta sight. Outta mind.

Well I may not be too vein to strut my stuff at the pool,

but I still want to make sure all is contained first.

So how exactly does one shave blind....

I have exactly 3 more days to figure this one out....

And though my husband graciously offered,

I think the thought of him anywhere near there with a razor is scarier than just baring it for all to see.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.....BATMAN!

Bright and early this morning I went to take the dog out.

We walked down the hallway like every other morning.

Moose stopped to smell something, nothing out of the ordinary....

Moose continued to smell somthing...

Come on dude...it's 6AM.

We have precious moments before I fully wake up and can no longer go back to sleep.

Let's GO!

He moves on.

I see weird black thing on floor.

Hmmm.

That's weird....I don't remember that being there last night.

I turn the light on and bend down for a closer look...

OH.

MY.

GOD!!!!

At this point I have no clue what I've seen.

But I'm smart enough to know I don't want to find out.

So I do what every smart woman does....yells for her husband.

"HUN! HUN! There's a weird dead creature of sorts of the floor and I need you to get rid of it."

An eternity later my husband emerges from the bedroom.

From a safe, almost ridiculous distance...we try to figure out what exacly lie dead on our floor.

My husband tried to convince me it's just a leaf.

Umm...I think you need new glasses, last time I checked leaves werent black, covered with fur and have tiny feet.

We've ruled out mouse.

It's certainly not a bug....

We think it's a bat.

And apparently my husband claims it may just be sleeping.

Seriously?

Again with the glasses dude....it's most certainly dead.

Thank god. At least we have death on our side.

Either way...I want this thing outta my house...now.

Still convinced it may just be "sleeping" the hubs tells me to stand back.

So I do. Now is not the time to argue....

I stand outside our sliding glass door while my husband, complete with gardening gloves on, manages to scoop the bat into a box.

And then leaves it on the kitchen table.

Gross.

I muster up the courage to carry the box out to the garage...where I proceed to drop it...and scream like a little bitch.

The hubs asks what's wrong to which I calmly reply,

"Nothing. I just dropped the box"

To which I hear laughing.

Thanks hun. Thanks.

Who needs caffiene to jump start their day?

I certainly didn't.

Bump Day -- 29 Weeks

How far along? 29 weeks

Weight gain/loss: This week: Up 5 pounds. Seriously? I checked 4 times before just giving in that I really weighed that much. Gross. Why can't I gain like a normal person in 1-2 pound increments. Does it really have to be 5 at a time!?! Total gain: 17 pounds.

Maternity Clothes? Yes...and I'm kind of over the stretchy waist. I look forward to the day I can wear big girl pants again with a real button and zipper.

Sleep: Meh. It's not bad until the 4am potty break...then I toss and turn until just before my alarm goes off.

Stretch marks: Nothing new...thank god.

Best moment this week: Finally finishing step one of the nursery! Now onto step number two!

Movement: Lots! I still have my suspicions that he's laying sideways though, hopefully sometime in the next 11 weeks he figures out how this is supposed to work...head down!

Food cravings: I randomly wanted some of those Gummy Peach rings yesterday, weird. Of course what you want is never available so instead you just eat everything in sight hoping to fill the void. It doesn't work.

Gender: Boy! But sometimes I get these really weird feelings that he's going to come out a girl...I mean that happens from time to time.

Labor Signs: Nada.

Belly Button in or out? Still in. No real change there.

What I Miss: Energy. Being able to get off the couch without groaning. Bending at the waist.

What I'm looking forward to: Going up to Omaha this weekend to see all my family for baby shower #3! Perhaps this time I will actually take some pictures....

Weekly Wisdom: When you can no longer comfortably bend forward to eat at the table like a civilized human being, it is perfectly acceptable to pick the plate up and just shovel the food in.

Milestones: The baby has pretty much reached his final birth "height" give or take a few inches. Really?? Already? That seems crazy!

My knight in shining armor

This week the prodigal son has returned!

That's right...Moose is back!

After living with my parents for the last 10 months I had mixed feelings for his return home.

Sure I loved that sweet little face, but we'd gotten pretty used to being a one dog family again, and honestly it was kind of nice. I know my Kasey sure enjoyed being an only child!

But enough was enough.

And I think my parents had their Moose fill.....his visa had expired and it was time to go.

I was actually pretty excited to see him on Monday when my dad dropped him off.

Then he peed on the kitchen floor.

About 5 seconds after being outside.

Then he tried to eat Kasey's food.

Mind you his bowl was full and untouched.

Then the barking began.

He pretty much barks at everything and nothing all at the same time.

He continued to run through the house like a mad man...disturbing the peace wherever he went.

Last night I found my neatly stacked cloth diapers strewn all over the guest bed.

I quickly shouted "WHO'S BEEN MESSING WITH MY DIAPERS!"

My husband had to say only one word.

Moose.

Well this morning he redeemed himself.

We have spiders.

Not a lot. But one is enough for me.

Big ugly black spiders that I swear jump and attack when you try and kill them.

Moose found one of these said creepy crawlers running across the bedroom floor.

I was afraid he was going to eat it (gross) or worse chase it under the bed before I could kill it...so I yelled "MOOSE!" To which he looked up, and BAM, stepped right on that spidey.

Woah. That was awesome.

Now I know it was purely a coincidence, however I like to think he was trying to save his mom.

So I suppose I will let him stay...you know, just in case there are any more spiders.

My first mom FAIL

So as a kid we always had cookies in the cookie jar.

Always.

Usually something of the chocolate chip variety...nothing too fancy.

But you could always count on them being there.

So as a mom-to-be I figure I best keep up the tradition.

Let's not dwell on the fact that I don't even own a cookie jar...

(Note to self. Buy cookie jar....or get really crafty and paint one at the pottery place)

Let's also not focus on the fact that my unborn son won't even be able to eat these said cookies for quite some time.

Details people, details...I my son wanted cookies NOW!

Well if you recall from this post...I bought the chips.

Forget the butter.

Sunday I finally get the butter but am far to exhausted to bake.

So last night I follow the recipe on the bag.

The dough is delish.

(Yep I ate some...raw egg and all...still alive to talk about it)

The cookies however.

Eh.

I mean they're edible...and I will be eating them, but they're by no means anything to write home about.

WTF!?

I've been making chocolate chip cookies since I was like 10.

It's like the cookie for dummies.

How could I have possibly messed them up?

I think I went a little overboard with the chips....adding almost twice what the recipe called for.

Hey...I'm pregnant and I like chocolate, step off!

But the end result was kind of a mess.

Oops.

Mom FAIL.

Looks like if I'm going to be the mom with the best cookies on the block I better start searching for some more recipes.

Good thing I have a few years.....

Bump Day -- 28 Weeks

How far along? 28 weeks

Weight gain/loss: This week: Down 1 pound. Total: Up 12. So apparently when you eat really healthy all week and don't indulge in so much junk, good things happen....imagine that!

Maternity Clothes? Yep! But I need this stupid weather needs to warm up so I can wear most of it!

Sleep: Fantastic!

Stretch marks: Nada.

Best moment this week: Passing my glucose test! Woo hoo!

Movement: During the week he is one active little guy in there! On the weekends however he's a lazy bum...go figure.

Food cravings: Homemade cookies...I even bought chocolate AND white chips yesterday so I could make some...but forgot to get butter. Boo.

Gender: Boy!

Labor Signs: Nada.

Belly Button in or out? Still in. Still rocking the "B" belly.

What I Miss: Nothing! I wouldn't say I love every last stinking moment of being pregnant, but for the most part it's been great! People always ask how I'm doing with this look of concern, like being pregnant is some giant plague or inconvenience and I just smile and say I'm feeling fabulous!

What I'm looking forward to: Getting my first order of "fluffy" mail! We've officially decided to take the plunge with cloth diapering and they were running a buy 5 get 1 free special so I stocked up! Can't wait to get my hands on those cute little fluffy diapers! (And yes I realize they may not seem so cute at 3AM when covered with poo)

Weekly Wisdom: When you get an email coupon from Carter's....immediately hit delete. Do not even open it to see what fabulous things are on sale. Remind yourself your son already has more clothes than you and his closet is overflowing. Step away from the baby stores.

Milestones: I go to the doctor ever 2 weeks now instead of 4. That's crazy! Guess we're in the homestretch!

And last but not least....today is my dad's Birthday! He happened to be in town last night and stayed at our place so I was able to serenade him this morning with a candle lit muffin. I couldn't tell you the last time I was actually with my dad on his special day! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!

Sugar coma here I come!

It's official! I passed my glucose tolerance test with flying colors!

No diabetes for me!

WOO HOO!

It honestly wasn't THAT bad.

Kind of like flat Hawaiian Punch with 8 extra cups of sugar in it.

Sounds good right??

I knew you'd all be jealous.

I choked it down in my allotted 5 minutes.

Seriously though??

5 minutes?

Who really wants to savor that stuff?

I downed it one fail swoop.

Thank you college and all your beer chugging games.

I knew those would come in handy one of these days.

So as a reward for passing...and fasting for 14 hours.

14 hours...that's like weeks to a pregnant lady.

I thought I'd pick up some of this on my way home.

Yep.

That's a tub of frosting.

And yep.

I'm going to eat it straight out of the jar with a spoon.

Who needs cake?? That just gets in the way....

Scary thing is I did this before I was pregnant.

Off to go put myself in a sugar coma!

If money grew on trees....

Buying a house is expensive.

Not just the house part, that's a give in.

I'm talking about lame boring stuff that prevents you from buying anything fun for your new humble abode.

In the past week we found out we need a new A/C.

Boo. Those things don't come cheap.
A new water heater

And let's not forget the crack in the foundation.

Now all the above mentioned items are must haves

But it doesn't make them anymore fun to buy.

Or any easier on the pocketbook

I'd much rather have one of these for my kitchen

And these for the family room

How about this comfy chair for the nursery??

(It already has the pillow that matches our bedding...isn't that a sign??)

A new bedroom set for our room perhaps

Oh Farmhouse Collection from Pottery Barn...let me count the ways.

And of course I can't leave the hubs out. He seems to think we need one of these for the man cave.

Now if I could just find that money tree?? With the veritable jungle growing in my backyard you'd think at least one would have a few extra dollars floating around. No such luck. Looks like I'll be enjoying my hot water, air conditioned, crack free home sans anything fun.

My "First" Mother's Day

So there's a bit of debate whether a mother-to-be can officially celebrate mother's day or not.

Really?

Seriously?

I may not have an outside baby, but I'm currently growing a human.

Creating life.

If that's not the definition of a mother I'm not sure what is.

So while I may not have expected anything huge,

my son can barely survive without me at this point

I certainly didn't expect him to run out to hallmark for a card....

But I still thought I had every right to celebrate.

So I did.

And look what my sweet husband little boy bought for his mama.

Not even born yet and already such good taste!

Happy (belated) Mother's Day to all the moms AND moms-to-be!

There's a hole in my wall

Yes folks. My husbands dreams have come true.

Today someone actually told him to take a hammer.....and put a hole in our wall.

Awesome.

You see about a week after we moved in we noticed a damp spot in the carpet.

Not good.

Turns out we have a small crack in the foundation which luckily is an easy fix (supposedly) and won't be costing us an arm and a leg (supposedly).

The catch is, the engineer who will patch our crack can't put any holes in our drywall, so my husband happily did it himself.

I quiver in fear.

Hopefully this is the LAST hole ever punched into my walls......

Bump Day -- 27 Weeks

I just realized how lame of a blogger I've been this week. I think I was embarassed to admit that I only took one....yes one picture the entire weekend we were gone, so I had nothing to show from our two fabulous showers. Feel free to stone me.

How far along? 27 weeks. 6 months down. 3 to go!

Weight gain/loss: 4 pounds in 2 weeks for a grand total of 13 pounds. I think I liked living in denial better. So much for my goal of only gaining 15-20. At this rate I don't think that's gonna happen....I hear this last trimester is when the baby packs on the pounds. Though if HE is the one gaining all the weight...does it really count for me??

Maternity Clothes? Umm.....yes. And I think I'm pretty much set till the end now, Old Navy needs to stop sending me all those enticing sale emails!

Sleep: If I could sleep all day...some days I would. Too bad work gets in the way.

Stretch marks: Nada.

Best moment this week: Our trip to Columbus for Adam's family shower and a BBQ with our friends. We came home with a car FULL of loot for the baby, it's almost embarassing how generous everyone was. Our friends even pooled together to buy our sweet stroller....can't wait for it to arrive!!

Movement: I get a kick out watching him move around in there. Every night I just lay there and stare at my stomach...I think I'm going to miss all that once he's finally here. I even got him to kick on command...sort of. I was holding a full, ice cold glass of water and wondered what would happen if I rested it on my stomach. Within a matter of seconds he kicked me so hard exactly where the glass was...guess he didn't like the cold front. I wanted to try it again, but the hubs said I was torturing him so I didn't.

Food cravings: Not much. Lame I know.

Gender: Team Blue!

Labor Signs: Nada.

Belly Button in or out? It's getting flatter and flatter but still in.

What I Miss: Putting socks on without having to contort my body and grunt like an old man. Thank god my shoes are slip ons cause tying laces could be out of the question.

What I'm looking forward to: Going through the 2 GIANT bags of clothes we got from my friend. I feel like we hit the hand me down jackpot!!

Weekly Wisdom: When a pregnant lady is exahusted and tired...do not talk to her, do not look at her, walk in the other direction or she's likely to lash out irrationally.

Milestones: Third Trimester. Holy crap!