Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The one where I bare it all

(yeah that's not me....I wish!)
With Memorial Day weekend fastly approaching,
it's safe to say summer is officially here.
That and the 90 degree temps we've had all week.
Thank god for a brand new A/C or this preggo would be dying!

Usually I welcome summer with open arms,
this one is really no different,
however instead of all my usual swimsuits to choose from I'm stuck with one.
I've affectionately nicknamed it my "swim-mumu" cause let's be honest,
that's exactly what it looks like.
I'm not one to rock the belly baring two piece.
I haven't even been brave enough to take a bare belly pic yet.
It's just not a cute pregnant belly.
It's kinda wide and saggy and all over the place....no skinny minny bball here!
So needless to say I went the tankini route.

Here's the next problem.
Most of them are cut to fit below the belly...however mine is such a low rider, the only thing below it is my hoo-hah (yes I just talked about my lady bits on the internet...there will be more talk of it later, so the weak stomached might as well jump ship now...you've been warned)
I can't wear anything but full panel pants...anything low rise is outta the question.
So not only did I get a tankini...the bottoms are full grandma style briefs and the top resembles that of a swim dress.

Yikes.

I'm still going to wear it.
I'm not vain enough to spend the entire summer hiding inside.
I don't understand those pregnant women who refuse to wear one.

Now onto the scary part.
I know right...as if describing my swim-mumu wasn't birth control enough.
There's a little issue of below the belt maintenance.
At this point I feel like I haven't even seen my hoo-hah since the late 90s so it's safe to say my usual grooming routine has been tossed out the window.
Outta sight. Outta mind.

Well I may not be too vein to strut my stuff at the pool,
but I still want to make sure all is contained first.
So how exactly does one shave blind....
I have exactly 3 more days to figure this one out....
And though my husband graciously offered,
I think the thought of him anywhere near there with a razor is scarier than just baring it for all to see.







19 comments:

Stephanie said...

Oh goodness! If you don't want to go to someone else for a wax, and really I wouldn't. I'm not preggers and I don't want to go some stranger or even my usual stylist for such things. Also, the thought of my hubby with a lady bic near my lady parts is too terrifying. Without going at it yourself blindly, what about getting an electric razor like for giving the hubs a haircut and letting him use that on you? I think that will be my go to solution when my day comes!

Nikki said...

This is completely TMI but I sat on the floor with a mirror propped in front of me and groomed with the electric razor we use to cut Joe's hair. It was the best option I had, especially at the end.

Brittany Ann said...

I'm no help, because I worry about this, too. I've heard you can squat over a mirror. Which terrifies me, but I guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Annie said...

gosh, i never thought about that....i have no advice either since i've never had a baby, sorry.
when and if you do figure this out, you will have to share just what you figured out ;)

hope all else is well hun!!

Hilary Lane said...

That is definitely one thing I've wondered, so if you figure it out, please share. Wait, is that considered TMI? :-)

Emily @ Longley's in San Diego said...

WAX! It is painful a tad bit, but it will be nothing compared to a child coming out of that area i'm sure ha.

Kristen said...

um.... I used to take a mirror into the shower with me and stand in very awkward positions while ever so carefully shaving away.... I understand not wanting to let the Mister be down there with a razor! lol My 2nd baby was born the end of September and we had a boat that summer so you can bet I was one of those pregnant people who still put my regular bikinis on and strutted my stuff! Though I received tons of people telling me how cute I was, I imagine in reality they were thinking "holy crow put that thing away!" lol

Kristen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa said...

LOL this post is too funny and I'm sure you bathing suit isn't that bad!

I always worry about the grooming situation when I get pregnant! My husband has already said that he will not help me with it haha!

bananas. said...

i knew a girl who would wax herself at 9 months pregnant.

she wanted to make sure she was "neat" when she finally gave birth. i told her she was talented.

good luck with your hooha. i say have hubby do it.

Brittany said...

You are too funny!! I say wear anything and everything you want to wear. You are growing a baby, you should just be comfortable!!

Jen said...

I know how you feel. I once had a boyfriend who wanted to um... take care of down there with a razor... and, while I trusted him to no end, I freaked out at the thought.

I think maybe I would go get waxed. Long-term solution, you don't have to worry about doing it blind, and you'll have an experienced professional handling the job.

ALin said...

BAAAA HAHA! I'm having the swimsuit dilemma as well, I was actually just editing my own blog post about it! I feel your pain sista!

Vanessa said...

Oh I can sooooo relate!!!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I've never been in this situation but maybe you can use a mirror somehow? Good luck and have fun over the weekend!

Tiffany said...

IF I looked like that, I would have no problem swimming in public! I put on my tankini today though, and it just furthered my opinion that I better keep to my kiddie pool on my deck ;-)

Lindsey said...

I have def wondered but I have no answer!

Lucky in Love said...

This post cracked me up :) I never even thought about shaving! Ha! Let me know what you figure out :)

Nishant said...

I come to your blog first i and would like come again and again.
PPC Advertising India