(yeah that's not me....I wish!)
With Memorial Day weekend fastly approaching,
it's safe to say summer is officially here.
That and the 90 degree temps we've had all week.
Thank god for a brand new A/C or this preggo would be dying!
Usually I welcome summer with open arms,
this one is really no different,
however instead of all my usual swimsuits to choose from I'm stuck with one.
I've affectionately nicknamed it my "swim-mumu" cause let's be honest,
that's exactly what it looks like.
I'm not one to rock the belly baring two piece.
I haven't even been brave enough to take a bare belly pic yet.
It's just not a cute pregnant belly.
It's kinda wide and saggy and all over the place....no skinny minny bball here!
So needless to say I went the tankini route.
Here's the next problem.
Most of them are cut to fit below the belly...however mine is such a low rider, the only thing below it is my hoo-hah (yes I just talked about my lady bits on the internet...there will be more talk of it later, so the weak stomached might as well jump ship now...you've been warned)
I can't wear anything but full panel pants...anything low rise is outta the question.
So not only did I get a tankini...the bottoms are full grandma style briefs and the top resembles that of a swim dress.
I'm still going to wear it.
I'm not vain enough to spend the entire summer hiding inside.
I don't understand those pregnant women who refuse to wear one.
Now onto the scary part.
I know right...as if describing my swim-mumu wasn't birth control enough.
There's a little issue of below the belt maintenance.
At this point I feel like I haven't even seen my hoo-hah since the late 90s so it's safe to say my usual grooming routine has been tossed out the window.
Outta sight. Outta mind.
Well I may not be too vein to strut my stuff at the pool,
but I still want to make sure all is contained first.
So how exactly does one shave blind....
I have exactly 3 more days to figure this one out....
And though my husband graciously offered,
I think the thought of him anywhere near there with a razor is scarier than just baring it for all to see.