So we live on a small culdesac with only one house one either side of us.
Both our neighbors are older whose kids are closer in age to us than they are.
Of course their adult kids all still live at home, but that's a whole different story.
Anyhoodles....yesterday I was at the mail box when one of these neighbors comes up to me and Jamie. If I had to guess, I'd say this man is in his mid 60s....and a bit of an odd guy as you're about to find out. For the sake of this story we'll call him "C"
C: Oh look at the precious baby, she's so cute.
(He's wearing a very boyish outfit...but I'll let it slide, men are dumb sometimes)
Me: Oh thanks, we sure think so too.
C: Can I write my name on her forehead?
(WTF?! Insert nervous laugh)
Me: No. I don't think HE would like that very much
C: Oh alright. So what's her name.
Me: HIS name is James
C: What a nice name. She's so cute.
(Really? We're still confused on the gender....)
Sure I can't write my name on her forehead?
(Seriously....is he drunk?)
Me: Yeah, no I don't think so.
C: So did you have a vaginal delivery
(Wow. Just when I thought this conversation couldn't get any weirder you ask me about my vagina)
Me: Ummm...yes, yes I did.
C: Well that's just great you were able to do it vaginally (really sir. Please stop saying vagina) Cause you know when you have one of those c-section it messes up your stomach muscles and then you can never lose the baby weight. (Did he just call me fat?) That's what happened to my wife. (Good thing she's not here, cause I'd punch my husband in the man junk if he said that about me....20 years after I'd had my children.)
Me: Yeah, no c-sections here, I did it the old fashioned way.
(Can this conversation be done now....please don't ask about breastfeeding. I don't think I can handle talking about my boobs too)
Well I better get inside....I've got dinner on the stove!
C: Ok. Good chatting with you.
(No. Not really. Please feel free to never chat with me again.)
Me: Uh-huh. Have a nice night.
Wow. That really just happened. Not sure if I should laugh at my "crazy" neighbor or put a for sale sign in my front yard and run for the hills....