Right before my JR year of high school my family moved to Kansas City.
I was leaving the only home I ever knew....right in the middle of those awkward teen years.
My brother was in college and my dad travelled every week so it was just me and my mom most of the time. I had a really hard time adjusting. I wasn't making friends at my new school. I had just turned 16 and constantly got lost in my new city. One day my mom saw something on Oprah about writing in a Grateful Journal during tough times, she told me maybe I should do that. Focus on the good things in my life, not the bad. As a sassy teenager I quickly snapped back, "What do I have to be grateful for?"
In her usual joking manor she said, lot's of things, like the fact that you have feet.
I looked at her and said...really, I'm supposed to be grateful for my feet?
Ever since then it become one of our many little inside jokes. Anytime one of us would be down we'd joke and say, just be grateful you have feet.
So today....I am.
I'm also grateful for my family.
For my friends who are coming from near and far to be with me during this difficult time so I don't have to do it alone.
For my husband.....who when I opened our fridge and saw my moms coffee creamer and started to cry, offered to throw it away.
For my son....he's the bright spot in our lives right now.
For cloth diapers.....I've been using disposables since last night so I don't have to worry about the laundry when I get home and I can't help but think I'm putting a piece of paper on my sons butt. The way they get all squishy with those jelly beads when they're wet seriously grosses me out. And they stink. Even my husband noticed it this morning and he's not exactly what I'd call observant.
For all the time I got to spend with my mom these past 2 months.
For all the time she got to spend with Jamie.
For my lack of appetite. At least maybe now I'll lose the rest of that baby weight. :)
For not crying while going through all my pictures last night....for the first time since all this happened I actually enjoyed remembering the good times. And smiled.