Friday, October 29, 2010

Today, I'm gratetful for my feet

Right before my JR year of high school my family moved to Kansas City.
I was leaving the only home I ever knew....right in the middle of those awkward teen years.
My brother was in college and my dad travelled every week so it was just me and my mom most of the time. I had a really hard time adjusting. I wasn't making friends at my new school. I had just turned 16 and constantly got lost in my new city. One day my mom saw something on Oprah about writing in a Grateful Journal during tough times, she told me maybe I should do that. Focus on the good things in my life, not the bad. As a sassy teenager I quickly snapped back, "What do I have to be grateful for?"
In her usual joking manor she said, lot's of things, like the fact that you have feet.
I looked at her and said...really, I'm supposed to be grateful for my feet?
Ever since then it become one of our many little inside jokes. Anytime one of us would be down we'd joke and say, just be grateful you have feet.
So today....I am.
I'm also grateful for my family.
For my friends who are coming from near and far to be with me during this difficult time so I don't have to do it alone.
For my husband.....who when I opened our fridge and saw my moms coffee creamer and started to cry, offered to throw it away.
For my son....he's the bright spot in our lives right now.
For cloth diapers.....I've been using disposables since last night so I don't have to worry about the laundry when I get home and I can't help but think I'm putting a piece of paper on my sons butt. The way they get all squishy with those jelly beads when they're wet seriously grosses me out. And they stink. Even my husband noticed it this morning and he's not exactly what I'd call observant.
For all the time I got to spend with my mom these past 2 months.
For all the time she got to spend with Jamie.
For my lack of appetite. At least maybe now I'll lose the rest of that baby weight. :)
For not crying while going through all my pictures last night....for the first time since all this happened I actually enjoyed remembering the good times. And smiled.


Molly said...

I've been thinking of you a lot. However weird that sounds. I just can't imagine what you're going through and I'm so sorry.

This post is amazing. You are so strong!

p.s. I'm grateful for my feet too.

d.a.r. said...

You and your mom had an amazingly beautiful relationship and I am in awe of your attitude and strentgh.

Love you sweet girl.

KLaw said...

Oh honey. My heart is absolutely broken for you. I have been praying for you all the time. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

Jesslee said...

Beautiful! I am grateful for my feet too! I am thankful for today, for friendship, for family... thank you! If you need anything, know that I am here for you :)
You and your family have been in my thoughts and I wish you comfort and peace!

SG to SP said...

I hurt so much for you. Your mom sounded like an amazing women, not that it should surprise me since you are an amazing woman. I'm so happy she was able to meet and spend time with Jamie before passing, that is priceless.

Brown Girl said...

So sweet, I'm thinking about you...So happy your mom had some time with Jamie, that is priceless. Love to you!

Gwen said...

I am grateful that you are remembering the times with your Mom and sharing her love with us also. I will always be grateful for my feet too. My love and prayers are with you all.

Ashley said...

I've been thinking of you the past few days. This post is sweet. It's wonderful that you have such great memories of your mom, and that she got to spend so much time with you and Jamie recently. My prayers continue to be with you guys.

That's What She Said... (No, Really!) said...

I'm grateful for you! Thank you for sharing this tough time with us. I will be grateful for my feet today and think of you and your mommy. :) xxxooo

Domestic Goddess said...

What a sweet memory! You are an incredible woman and have been on my heart all week. Anything you need, I'm here for you. I'm glad you had such incredible memories with your mom.

Mama Dew said...

Still praying for you guys. I cannot imagine what all you must be going through right now. Sounds like you are staying strong and positive, good for you, your mom would want that. Take care of yourself and {I know this will sound weird} but if there is anything I can do let me know. xo.

Erin said...

My heart just breaks for you! Your mom would be so proud of you for continuing to remember the things she taught you...and someday you will teach Jamie to be grateful for his feet, too!

Susannah said...

Oh honey, I'm still thinking of you. I put you up for a prayer link on my blog.

Brittany said...

While I'm sure this post was difficult to write, it made me smile for you :)

Stephanie said...

Oh Em I just adore you so much! I can't imagine having to go through what you're doing right now, it brings tears to my eyes for you and your family. Its so hard to be grateful for the small things in times of loss, but you hit the nail on the head. Sending you a million hugs and prayers!!!

Lucky in Love said...

Thinking of you!! So glad you have your friends and family around you during this time. And it really is amazing your mama got to spend so much time with her grand baby!