Friday, May 18, 2012

To whom it may concern

Dear bats,

If I'm forced to let you occupy my home until August due to your endangered status,
least you could do is take care of the horrific mosquito problems we've got going
on in the backyard.  I have far too many bug bites for someone with bats as tenants.

xoxo
Your Disgruntled Landlord

Dear Jamie,

My name is MAMA not May-May. 
May-May is your teacher. 
I get that you spend more time with her during the week than me,
but let's not twist that mom guilt knife in any further ok?

xoxo
Your heartbroken MAMA

Dear Ben and Jerrys,

Your Greek Frozen yogurt is a sham. 
Shame on me for assuming you'd be healthy. 
If I'm going to spend that many points on a lousy half cup of fake ice cream....
I'm going for the real thing.

xoxo
Duped in the checkout line

Dear E.L. James,

Your books are delicious and definitely live up to the hype. 
My inner goddess thanks you. 
And so does my husband.

xoxo
Loving all 50 shades

Dear Friday,

You couldn't have come fast enough.

xoxo
Looking forward to a great weekend
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7 comments:

Molly B said...

Seriously what is up with 50 shades? I LOVE IT- small bit of a readers version of a porno, but I love it! Just got started on it and read 12 chapters yesterday. IT IS AMAZING! I wonder what E.L James' husband thinks of all of this?? Good luck with the bats- I hate them!!

SG to SP said...

My poor husband hasn't benefitted from my reading 50 Shades #1 Because I'm not overly impressed with it and #2 We have a 4 month old and sleep trumps all.

My husbands nickname for me is Mama-Nay or Ma-Nay for short (started from the nickname She-Nay-Nay). I have a bad feeling that's what Hunter is going to end up calling me.

Married...with a Pup said...

Lol my husband thanks e.l James too!

dave and jenn said...

Okay, I've got to get on the 50 Shades bandwagon. My husband sent me this article last night, and it had me cracking up (little raunchy, but I'm guessing it's nothing compared to the book): http://www.thesmokingjacket.com/entertainment/what-she-said-jenny-mollen-goes-fifty-shades-of-grey

Melissa said...

I loved the 50 shades books!

Gina said...

BATS?!? Ewww, I am petrified of bats. Pet.Ri.Fied.

Tiffany said...

Ohhhh Christian Grey... :)

Sadly, it is not having the same positive affect for my husband as it is for yours. ;)