Wednesday, September 11, 2013

My new normal

This morning I left the house around 6:45 am.
The husband was asleep.
The boy was asleep.
The dog was asleep.
Hell, the sun was barely peeking it's head over the horizon.
I hopped into my car, breakfast in hand, and began my drive to work.
You see with my new job, came a new commute.  A 45 minute commute to be exact.
So that means by the time I get off work, I'm walking in the door around 6-6:15 pm.
That's almost half my day.
I've been managing pretty well.  It helps that I love my new job, it's basically my dream job.  And the husband?  Well he's been amazing and has picked up the slack big time now doing drop off and pick up at daycare and getting dinner started.
The first three weeks back into the swing of things, everything was going great.
But today?  Today I cracked.
As I got into my car at 5:30 pm and began my drive home my mind started to race.  I hate not being able to get Jamie up and dressed in the morning.  I miss picking him up from school and our hour of so just us, hanging out, winding down and getting dinner started.  Now I walk in the door, help finish cooking dinner, we sit down to eat around 7 and by the time we finish it's almost time to get ready for bed.  I'm feeling some serious mom guilt.
Sure these long days during the week now mean I get Friday's off.  Oh how I love having my 3 day weekends back.  Plus it means an entire day just Jamie and me, but I'm not sure it makes up for the fact that Monday through Thursday, I basically seem him a combined 8 hours total.  In four days.
I know it's all still pretty new, so I'm still giving myself time to adjust, but right now my mama heart hurts as we all get used to our new normal.



KatiePerk said...

You can do it! You are making it work! I know it is hard.

Shannon said...

Welcome to my life except I don't get Fridays off. I do however get Hunter up and off to daycare so I get an extra 1 1/2 hours with him in the morning but only because Kristian has to be at work earlier than I do. But I have an hour commute and get home around 6 so the evenings are a big blur. It basically sucks. But hey at least you love your job.

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

Oh I'm sure that's really hard :( But the focused time you get on the weekends you can really spend doing quality things that you'll know he'll remember. You're a great momma ;)

Amanda Z said...

I have a similar commute and it sucks. What a drain on your day! It is great that you are able to get Fridays off though, so you have that extra time with your little man.

Melissa at Tall Blonde Blog said...

I feel you 100% on this. I some days feel like a total shit because I barely see my kids but for 2-3 hours a day. It kills me most days. This morning Mia was awake and begged me not to leave. Why don't you just rip my heart out while you're at it. There's never enough time, but that's the life of a working Mom. Hang in there!