The one where I pushed out a watermelon....

"On the night you were born,
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you

and the night wind whispered,

'Life will never be the same.'"

~Nancy Tillman

At my last doctor's appt on Wednesday 8/4/10....2 days before my due date my lady bits were still locked up tight. I kept hoping a miracle would happen and Jamie would come all on his own before our scheduled eviction that Monday, but the look on my doctor's face led me to believe this would probably not be the case. I finished out work that week....hearing lots of "That baby isn't here YET?!" and just nodding and smiling, "No, not yet." All the while thinking, I'm still here you freaking idiots...what do you think?!

My due date came and went. Hubby and I had a date night instead of having a baby. Saturday came and went. My in laws arrived from Ohio. My mother in law officially told the baby it was all right to come now. Still nothing. Sunday comes. Ok Jamie. This is your last chance. Nothin' I spent most of that day a bit of an emotional wreck. I don't like drugs. They make me feel funny and out of control. I'd heard nothing but horror stories from women about pitocin...the evil induction drug. My mom came that evening. Time was quickly ticking away and still no signs of labor. I took a shower and attempted to calm my growing nerves. Finally 8:30pm rolled around and it was time to leave. We got to the hospital just about 9pm. This wasn't how I was supposed to have a baby. I wasn't even in labor. It felt kinda backwards. But alas, I was there...it was go time.

The nurse got me all checked in, IV in place. She did an exam....apparently I was an anomaly. Lucky me. The baby was LOW but my cervix was still high and very much closed. With the baby's head in the way it made the exams very difficult and VERY uncomfortable. At one point I asked my husband if she lost her whole arm in there trying to see if I was dilated. They got the cervadil placed...aka the pre-induction cocktail...and left me to cook for 2 hours. I started feeling some contractions, nothing major, but at least something was going on. Around midnight the nurse said I could have my last meal....I wasn't hungry so I ate some orange sherbet and called it a day. She gave me some sleeping pills and said they would be back at 5:00am to get everything ready for the pitocin to start around 6. Needless to say, even with the pills, I didn't sleep much. Every hour the machine would take my blood pressure...maybe the worst part of my labor I kid you not...I swear my fingers turned blue every time that damn thing went on. Like a boa constrictor on my arm. It would beep first, like warning you of what was to come. Even when the cuff wasn't on, I would jump at the sound of the beep. It truly was torture.

The morning finally comes. The nurse takes out the cervadil (it's like a tampon for lack of other comparisons) and checks me again. 1 cm. Hmph. Well I suppose it's 1 more than I was when I came in. She starts the pitocin and is off for the day. Enter my sister in law Jade. For those that didn't know...Jade is a labor and delivery nurse and coincidentally is scheduled to work both Monday and Tuesday. She would have been there regardless, but I felt better knowing she didn't have to come in on her day off. And for those who are wondering, it was not weird at all to have my sister in law so up close and personal with my lady parts. At this point, you don't really care who sees you. Modesty is pretty much checked at the door. Having her there the whole day was actually very comforting and almost made it feel like I was delivering at home. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way!

So the pitocin gets going and we watch the contractions on the monitor. Jamie wasn't responding very well to some of them so they kept having me change positions. Eventually we discover that sitting on the big yoga ball is best, both for me and for him. So far so good. I'm able to breath though most of the contractions and it's not so bad. Around 10:30 my OB is making the rounds and checks, I'm now 1.5cm. Really? A half more...it's been several hours already! My doctor breaks my water. Gross. Kinda glad it didn't happen at home. I wasn't expecting quite so much...little man practically has an Olympic sized swimming pool in there! They discover there is meconium present...for the non-baby people, that basically means he's already had his first poop. Charming. It doesn't change much about the labor process, just means a respiratory therapist will have to be present at birth to make sure he didn't/doesn't suck any of it into his lungs.

Once my water had been broken things pretty much took off and my body finally got with the program. The contractions were STRONG and coming about 2 -3 minutes apart, lasting about 1 minute each....so basically I had 60 seconds to re-coop before the next one came. Every last one of them was in my back. I was doing so much breathing I thought I might hyperventilate, but it kept me focused. I was also able to stay on the yoga ball which was a godsend. My husband was amazing and helped me get through them. I surprisingly stayed pretty calm, there were no mom-zilla moments or "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" tantrums. I have to say I was rather impressed with how well I handled it all. The worst was when during my "breaks" the blood pressure cuff would go off, I literally had to breath through that too. Two hours after they broke my water I begged my sister in law to check. Surely I had dilated enough to get an epidural because I was wearing down fast and wasn't sure I would last much longer with the back labor. Thank god I was 3.5. My goal was to make it to at least 3 before getting the epi. I was there.

My new best friend aka the anesthesiologist came in and got the epidural placed. Shortly after I was in heaven. I watched the contractions on the monitor spike continually and felt nothing. Who cares if I couldn't move my toes and my legs felt like they weighed 1000 pounds...I was happy as a clam. Things moved pretty fast after that. The next time they checked me I was 5 cm. An hour and a half later I told my sister in law I was feeling a lot of pressure, kind of like I had to poop. She checked again and actually said, "Holy crap! You're ready. You're 10 cm!" Woah. I'm going to have a baby. By now it's about 4:00pm. They let me continue to stew, waiting for my doctor to arrive. At 4:50 the pushing began. Now it's kind of hard to push when you can't feel anything below the waist, but they kept reassuring me I was doing great and making progress. I was exhausted. Starving. And the pressure was pretty intense. I was so ready for it all to be over. Finally at 5:50 pm, after exactly 1 hour of pushing Jamie made his grand entrance.

They quickly wisked him away to make sure his lungs were clear. We quietly waited until finally we heard a loud cry....the most glorious sound to a new mother's ears. They got him all cleaned up and suctioned out and brought him over to me. I was still in disbelief that just moments ago this little guy was inside, and now here he is. Ten fingers. Ten toes. Just perfect.