Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The last day

Today starts the long 10 day emotional roller coaster until October 27th.
A day that 2 years ago started out a happy day.
The day we baptized our son.
It was a day spent celebrating with family and friends.
Going to church together to welcome Jamie into the world.
A day laughing, eating {too much} good food, taking {too many} pictures and just spending time together.
One of the last beautiful weekends we had before fall really set in.
One where a frazzled new mom was trying to soak it all in.
One where the 2 1/2 month old guest of honor was fussy and cranky a good portion of the day, suffering from an ear infection which we didn't know was brewing.
One where mothers and daughters and husbands and wives nit pick at each other over silly, trivial things.
Despite all the crazy, it truly was a great day.
One I thought {at the time} I would remember forever.
And I do.
Now however, it will forever be remembered as the last day I spent with my mom.
I've replayed that day in my head more times than I can count.
I remember being in a rush to get home that afternoon after all the festivities had died down.
With a 2 1/2 hour drive ahead of us, we opted out of one last boat ride and bid everyone a fond farewell.
In the hustle and bustle of packing up I don't really even remember saying goodbye.
I remember my mom hurrying to get down to the dock, and I remember the house going quiet, realizing she had left, but I don't remember saying goodbye.
There may have been a quick hug or a "Have a safe trip home!"
But that's it.
Nothing huge or monumental.
Certainly nothing grand.
And I'm ok with that.
Or at least I try to be.
Because it's all I have.
And I have to remember, that no matter how {un}grand the goodbye may have been, it really was a great {last} day.
Our last picture together.  Taken very appropriately in front of the Mother's Wall of Life.
Photobucket

20 comments:

Molly said...

Thinking of you. It must be so hard.

Chell said...

Bless your heart... I can't even imagine....

Kristen at First Name Smith said...

My prayers are with you today. Just so sad.

Stephanie said...

I don't know the story behind what happened with your mom, but I'm glad you got your last goodbye in, no matter how grand or [un]grand it may have been, and that picture is just perfect!!

Molly B said...

Thinking of you and will continue to especially on 10/27.

Jamie said...

I have been reading your blog for a long time and I remember my heart breaking for you the day you wrote the post about your mom's death. I cannot imagine what you've gone through since that day but I do know that, from reading your blog, I admire you. I'm sure that your mom is so proud of you for your strength and your accomplishments as a mom and a woman.

Thank you for sharing your story with your readers!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

wow...praying for your heart this weekend!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

(err..in the coming weekends...)

Laura @ My Thoughts-Uninterrupted said...

Thinking of you.

Ashley said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers over the next 10 days.

dave and jenn said...

Thinking of you these next 10 days. I replay my last days with my dad over and over again each year. Time helps, but you never forget.

Holly said...

What a moving post. I will be thinking of you in the coming days... it looks like a lot of people will be.

Katie said...

As someone who has lost my mother and father at a young age, this post really resonated with me. I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I just know she is beaming down on you with love and pride. {{{hugs}}}

Samantha said...

hugs to you...

Perfectly Imperfect said...

i don't think i knew this. i am so, so sorry. i'll be praying for you in the coming weeks love.

Holly said...

I'm sorry about your mother, that must be really difficult.

Ashley said...

My heart aches for you. My son is 5 months old and to date, I don't know how I'd get by without my mom. It's one of my biggest fears. I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you and your family so early on in life. :(

Gwen said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. We just got through the 8th anniversary of Mom's passing. It's always a day I dread every year.

Melissa at Tall Blonde Blog said...

Thinking of you. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I can't even imagine the feelings that you are going through. Hang in there girl