Friday, March 8, 2013

A break in our regularly scheduled programming

So I know usually Friday's are reserved to air out all my dirty laundry,
but I'm mixing it up to link up with my favorite Pam from The Office doppelganger, Holly from Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally.  Seriously though, Pam totally ripped off Holly's good looks.  I keep expecting Jim to pop around the corner at any given moment, but it hasn't happened yet.  Sadz.
Alright, so who's up for a good game of mad libs....bloggy style?  Let's do this!

1. People always tell me I'm skinny enough and should stop losing weight.  This usually results in a dirty look or a punch to the face.  Mind your business people.
2. In the movie based on my life, I want Ginnifer Goodwin to play me.  Not because we look anything alike, but because she's awesome.  And adorable.  And because she doesn't seem like some diva, pre-madonna media whore.
3. Typically, I end up regretting eating that entire bag of cadbury mini eggs. I don't.  Those things are worth a slightly bigger ass.
4. I always ask to leave off the lights.  Because when #13 ever happens to occur, no body needs to see that shit.  Including myself.  Besides, if the lights are off I can pretend my boobs don't resemble two tennis balls in tube socks.
5. Kim and Kanye really need to stop doing photo shoots.  No body EVER needs to see Kim's O face again.  Ever.
6. My Parents always reminded me that adult only vacations are necessary for everyone's sanity.  And by everyone I mean me.  Now where's my annual trip to Mexico???  Damn unemployment.
7. Every single day I wish I had a money tree.  It may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell would be a lot more fun!  See above.  Mama needs a vacation that involves no children and lots of adult beverages.  And maybe a little bit more #13....if I let my husband come along.
8. This one time in College I got wasted and did totally awesome and ridiculous things.  Oh wait?  You said ONE time.  Yeah, that pretty much happened all the time.  College rocked my socks off. 
9. My grossest habit is not washing my hands after I pee.  Truth.
10. My latest white lie was telling the hubs I was too tired, but we'd do it tomorrow.  We all know that's not going to happen.
11. I know all the words to Mean Girls.  The best movie ever.  "That's why her hair is so's full of secrets."
12. When I grow up I want to be one of those skinny bitches who can eat whatever they want, never workout and still look amazing.  Can I be rich too?  Sure why not.  This is my fantasy.
13. Sexy time is What's sexy time?  People still do that after they have kids?  Show offs.
14. I will never, ever have a threesome.  If you haven't noticed, sexy time is rare enough around here, adding another player just sounds messy....and exhausting.  Ain't nobody got time for that shit.
15. I think it's hilarious when my son farts.  Or says sucks.  I know I shouldn't laugh, but most times it's all I can do to compose myself.

Thank god it's finally Friday!
Time to go get my weekend on!


Caroline said...

Stopping by from Holly's! I love Cadburry eggs too! Yum!

Jake said...

I don't wash my hands every time either..oops. thanks for linking up! have a good weekend!

Jacqueline O said...

Stopping by from Hollys and hope you'll stop by mine! I'm having a giveway...and have 3 more in the works this month! So be sure to come over! :)

KatiePerk said...

Ha! This has me cracking up. You are hilarious.

Veronica Watts said...

HAHAHAHA. We totally have the SAME little white lie! LOVE IT!

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

Number 1. Hands down. Story of my life right now! xoxo

Becky said...

Now I want cadberry eggs. Yum! I also agree on adults only vacations! They are needed to keep mommy and daddy's sanity! My husband and I went to Miami in January for four days, and I could use a few more days right about now!

Ashlee said...

You are cracking me up!! I love the tube sock titties! bahaha!! And I totally agree with your parents. I also bust a gut when Lincoln rips them, probably because his farts are bigger than a grown mans!

Stephanie said...

LOL Thanks for the giggle and the honesty. Both needed today!! PS Totally agree, those eggs are so worth the extra padding on the butt!

Nikki said...

"Ain't nobody got time for that shit" Best.Line.Ever

Jax said...

Ha! I don't wash my hands every time either... mostly when I get up in the middle of the night. I'm TIRED. My hands don't need to be clean. Whatever. haha.. :) Love your white lie.. so funny...And I agree about Kim and Kanye. *shudder* Sick.